A New Life
by Alice Vampire
Summary: Bella is running from her past. Can she make life start over or will the past catch up with her? AU, AH. This story has been reposted and extended. Rated M for very good reasons.
1. Runner

**RUNNER**

**This is a second posting of this story. It was removed to be rewrittened and extended. This story has personal meaning for me. It will be hard to read but maybe someone will find strength and closure in their life.**

**Much love to my BFF, Merkle. She is a beautiful person who was there in my dark times. **

**Reminder: SM owns these beautiful characters. I only borrow them to use as therapy for myself.**

~ANL~

She tip-toed slowly past the room. She knew she would only have one chance. One chance to live. If her escape failed she would receive more than just the bruises she had now.

Some were older than others but all were reasons for her flight. He had told her that she needed the constant reminders of how incapable she was of being even the basic of humans. For years she had endured the reasons. She believed them. She suffered because of them.

For some reason today had been the last straw. The planning had been made a long time ago but she had decided today was the day for her to leave and live. Not just live but to have the right to live. No longer would anyone have the decision of whether she lived or died in their hands. Literately.

She paused when she heard the low grumble coming from the living room. She started to shake as she thought her moment was gone. The grumble stopped as suddenly as it had started. As the drunken snoring resumed she continued down the hallway to the front door.

Carefully entering the code to disable the alarm she thought to herself 'Only he would use his father's birthdate as a code.' That seemed ironic that he would hold his father on such high ground since he was responsible for the conditioning of her husband.

Having disabled the alarm she slowly open the door. The door gave way with the smallest of creaks and she listened cautiously to the snoring in the other room. She knew the prison that should have been her dream home too well. She also knew that even in his drunken state he could wake to the slightest noise. He lived by the motto that no one he loved would ever walk out on him 'again'.

As she stepped slowly off the porch she darted for the woods. The car would not be a good idea. One, he would hear the engine starting. That sound would be a hard thing to miss being twenty miles from the nearest home or main road when driving. That brought about the second reason. Twenty miles to safety would give him enough time to catch up to her in his truck and force her off the road. No one would be able to help her if he caught her and she knew that.

She knew where she was going. The planning had been so finely tuned but never had she felt strong enough to say 'enough is enough' and put the plan in motion. She knew what direction would bring her to the nearest road in the shortest time possible by foot. She planned to hitchhike her way to the north. Hitchhiking was dangerous in itself but getting on a bus or plane would be worse. There would be stops and paper trails. She knew he would be able to convince others that she was unstable or mentally disturbed and would hold her till he came to get her. She had tried once before and failed miserably to make her escape.

That had been years ago when they were still newlyweds and the first time he turned ugly and hateful. She had noticed his tendencies to angry before the marriage but the first time they fought after they had gotten married was the first time he had hit her. She had a permanent scar on her back from the glass he had thrown her into. He had lied to the hospital, telling them she was clumsy and had fallen over a section of the carpet. He had threatened her harshly enough for her to agree to the lie. When he had gone to the front desk to have her discharged she had made a run out the back of the hospital. He had caught her few blocks later at a local hotel and forced her into the car. The verbal abuse had been threateningly enough but as soon as they pulled in front of their home the physical assault had left her unconscious on the front lawn.

She made her way through the thick of the trees. She barely noticed the limbs smacking themselves against her body as she pushed them aside. The only thing on her mind was to make it to the road before the sun began to rise. She knew if he awoke and found her gone he would start searching the roads on his way into town. She had to be gone by then and her best chance was by the cover of night.

After what seemed to be forever, she could hear a vehicle in the distance. Her heart began to race as she feared it might be him. Coming closer to the road she paused to watch for the traffic. Seeing the lights of a car in the distance she froze. Suddenly she wondered if she had the strength to finish what she had started. Somewhere deep inside a voice scream 'RUN'.

Shoving herself out onto the road she waved frantically to the car coming begging out loud for them to stop. At first it seemed the car wasn't going to stop. Her heart sank and sang at the same time. Sank because she would never receive the little help she needed to escape. Sang because it wouldn't be him.

Suddenly as if the occupant of the car had not noticed her before, the car started to slow. Coming just a few feet away from her she knew it was not him. Her heart skipped a beat as she realized that she had done the one thing he had always told her she would never be able to do. She would be free.

She slipped into the car and when having been asked if she was okay Bella's only response was "I will be."


	2. Wanting

**WANTING**

**Reminder: SM owns these beautiful characters. I only borrow them use as therapy for myself.**

Bella walked softly into a dirty rundown diner next to the highway. She had been walking for what had seemed like years. In reality, though, it only been a week. She was tired and felt like she had an inch of caked dirt on her body and clothes.

The man behind the counter gave her an evil glare. His eyes told her she wasn't welcome. She quickly snagged the key off the counter and made her way back to the door.

"The bathroom's out of order." The attendant's voice boomed from behind her.

"Does the sink work, sir?" Bella asked with a quiet quiver in her voice.

"Not for you."

Bella felt her heart sink as she returned the unused key on the counter. She didn't look up as she acknowledged the man. "Thank you anyways."

Bella made her way outside. She stood for a moment and wondered what she could do. She was tired, cold and hungry. She had no money and sleeping on the edge of the highway had taken a toll on her tiny body. The mosquito bites on her arms and legs were almost like welts because of her constant scratching. Of course, the scabs she had caused didn't make her feel any better. She needed money or some way to get food.

She had thought she had every detail of her escape in place. She had run over all the scenarios time and again, thinking of new angles and how to make them work or how to avoid them. What Bella hadn't thought of was what she would do when the few dollars she had managed to save ran out.

Bella hiked her bag higher on her shoulder and pushed herself off the wall she presently leaning on. As she started to walk towards the shoulder of the highway she heard a voice behind her.

"Hey, girl."

Bella turned slowly not sure if the woman's voice was directed at her. She found herself staring at a petite woman whose long locks of hair were tied back in a ponytail. She moved with grace that Bella knew she could never master. The woman walked confidently up to Bella with her arm extended. Her long delicate fingers were closed around a hidden object.

"Here. My husband sees transiants come through all the time. They destroy the bathroom and leave without cleaning it afterwards. You don't seem like that type. I can't put my finger on it but there's something different about you." The woman said with a southern drawl.

"Why?" Bella asked nervously as she looked into the diner. The man behind the counter was watching her. His arms were crossed over his chest and the look on his face was terrifying. "I can't."

"Honey, you need to clean up. No one's gonna let you in their place looking like that. If ya wanna eat you need to clean up first."

"Please. I don't want to cause you problems with your husband." Bella kneaded her hands together.

"Oh, please, darling. Mike ain't gonna be a problem as long as you clean the bathroom before you leave."

"He looks angry." Bella stated looking away from Mike's glare.

"Ya, so?"

Bella's head shot up in shock. "You're not afraid he'll..." She couldn't even finish the words without her body shaking in fear.

"He'll what, darling?" The woman looked at Bella confused for a moment and then suddenly in a moment of clarity her face paled. "Oh god, no, girl. Mike would never think about it. He's mean looking but he would never do something so horrible."

Bella was dumbstruck. Her mind reeled at the thought that there were men who didn't use violence as a form of getting what they wanted. Was it possible? Could it really be that way even after marriage? After the woman promised to honor and obey? Could men be the way they were in the love stories she had read in the books at school when she was younger?

"Hey, darling. You still with me?" The woman raised her hand and waved it across Bella's face.

Bella blinked a few times before answering. "I'm sorry."

"Notten to be sorry for. Just take the key and go clean up. I got some old clothes in the back room. They ain't great but they are clean. I'll get them and bring them to ya."

"Why?"

"Why what, girl?"

"Why are you been so nice to me?"

"Darling, you look like someone who could use a little niceness for once in her life."

Bella reached for the key still watching Mike inside. He huffed and turned away. Bella decided to accept the little kindness from this stranger. She worried though that there was more to this than she was seeing. Never in her life had she seen people who were so compassionate towards strangers or even herself. It twisted her head and way of thinking about how the world really was.

~ANL~

"Marie, I need a favor from you?"

"Sure, Lauren."

"Bree can't make her shift tomorrow. I know how ya hate working the day shift but I ain't got no one else to do it."

Bella stood motionless. She didn't do day shifts. She had good reasons for that and plenty of them. Her brain quickly did the scenarios and even with the multiple reasons she found not to agree, the look in Lauren's eyes was one of desperation.

"Okay, Lauren." Bella sighed.

"Oh, thank you, Marie. You're the bestest." Lauren exclaimed as she pulled Bella into a quick hug.

Bella flinched at the touch as if the feel of another human was like being lit on fire.

"Sorry, Marie, forgot."

"Please don't say sorry. I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't do that. I don't want you angry with me over something so small." Bella whispered.

Lauren's faced started turning shades of red as her body began to shake. Bella had seen this many times before. She didn't want to be on the receiving end once again.

"Marie, ya ain't got nothing to be sorry for. I wish you would take to the cops. Whatever it was that made you like this is something that you need to take care of."

Bella's thoughts went crazy with the idea of police. All they would do is take her back. It had happened before and it would happen again. It was decided then and there that this place wasn't safe anymore. As wonderful as Lauren had been the last two weeks, her good intentions were about to get her burned.

Bella had given a fake name and story behind why she had been so soiled and tired when they met. Bella had no idea how to hide herself. Lauren had thankfully offered to give Bella an under the table job at the diner. It would help keep her off the radar but the day shifts were too dangerous and exposing for her to accept. Night provided cover and the darkness was almost life a security blanket for her.

"I should go. I'm pretty tired and could use a good sleep." Bella said timidly.

"Okay, Marie. So ya'll have tonight off and I'll see ya in the morning at seven. Trust me the tips at the diner will make up for your fears of the day shift."

Bella nodded her head and walked out the door of the diner saying a silent goodbye to a place that she thought might be home.

**Author's note:**

**You won't be seeing any of the main characters for a few chapters. I'm rewriting this story to give it more of a background of the hows and whys Bella turns into the person she is when she meets them. Please bare with me and let me know what you think, honestly, it'll help with the flow.**

**Rec'd:**

**Torn by Dooba. I don't think there could possibly be a more talented writer out there. She should write for a living.**


	3. Life

**LIFE**

**Thank you all for the love. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Okay, so I was wrong. We're getting our first taste of the main characters.**

**Reminder: SM owns these beautiful characters. I only borrow them use as therapy for myself.**

Bella sat on the bench in front of the shopping mall of some small town she had found herself in. She put her bowed her head and ran her fingers through her hair. Bouncing from town to town in the past year, Bella had found only one place that she thought could be called home. She had been proven wrong after she had started to become comfortable.

Bella leaned her head back and rested it against the wall. Closing her eyes she silently apologized to Mrs. Cope for leaving without paying. At much as it was her fault she blamed him for it more.

She had zigzaged across the country leaving no trace of herself. She made money with a few odd jobs here and there. She had done a few questionable things but never anything illegal. She couldn't take the chance the police would catch her and give her location to a man who would possibly spend the rest of his life chasing after what he conveniently called 'his property'.

The rooming house she had found had been an older building with so much character. She had lied time and time again to find places to live but when she met old lady Cope she had seen the character wasn't just in the house. The widow had been a straight forward, no bull shit lady who saw through the lies right from the beginning.

Bella had been truthful with her name for the first time since being on the run. Her story had been another lie that would have her burn in hell. It was at that moment that Bella decided she would stop lying about her name. Her story would stay her secret. She started to re-invent herself.

Mrs. Cope had been patient with Bella. She saw something in her that was desperately screaming to be released. Mrs. Cope had a story of her own and in telling her horrific tale, Bella found a strength she had never thought possible.

Bella, with Mrs. Cope's help had gotten a job at a coffee shop just down the road from the house. She still worked graveyard shifts and thankfully was able to get another job that was tax-free. Staying off the radar was her biggest rule that would never be broken.

She sighed as she remembered that day less than two weeks ago that had changed her new life. Bella had left Mrs. Cope's house for an extra shift, a day shift, at the coffee shop. Always being cautious she stood in the doorway of the house and scanned the road in both directions. It was a good thing she had. At the end of the block she spotted a man she would recognize anywhere. He seemed to be walking for the sake of walking and looking for the sake of looking. Bella knew that was not the case. He was no tourist or lost individual. She knew exactly why he was there and who he was looking for.

Bella had stepped carefully back into the house trying not to draw attention to herself. After having closed the door, she had taken the stairs two at a time. She was terrified and numb at the same time. She grabbed everything, which was very little, that she owned and shoved it all into a backpack. The room she had been given had a beautiful view of the park where she had watched the children play. Bella realized that her inner voice saying not to work the day shift was a voice that she would listen to more often from now on.

She had been grateful for the room for one other reason besides the view. Just outside the window was a very large and very old oak tree. It had brought a depth to the character of the property. The branches were definitely large enough to hold the weight of a person. She had shimmied out the window and onto the branch closest to her and worked her way down the tree. Once reaching the ground she had looked carefully over the fence into the back ally. Seeing the coast was clear she had jumped the fence and hid beneath some thick overgrown bushes.

Bella remembered shivering uncontrollably not knowing if it was because of the cold or because of the intensity of the situation. Even with as cold as she was she had kept to her sanctuary till well after the sun was no longer producing any light and made her way ever so cautiously to the edge of town.

She had said her silent goodbye again. This time she shed tears knowing that she would never be able to thank Mrs. Cope for everything she had taught Bella. She would miss the old woman terribly but it was the safest thing she could do.

Bella rose from the bench and walked down what seemed like the main street of the town. She looked up at the front of the post office and for the first time she noticed the name of the town was Forks. She pretended to admire the old world charm this town gave. There was relaxed feeling that the residents gave off like a ray of sunshine through the clouds that seemed to be a constant here. She, in truth, however, was not feeling the warmth and friendliness but was spying on these good people. She had learned quickly how to read people and had acquired a good judge of character. She had also been listening as much as she been watching.

In the past three days she had overheard many conversations about a house just on the outskirts of town. 'The house is the oldest and largest.' 'It has the most beautiful features dating back to the early 1900's.' 'It has a warm, secure feel to it even when all you are doing is walking by.'

She had heard many compliments about the family there too. 'They are such a lovely family, so polite and respectful.' 'They give so much of themselves and never ask anything of others.' 'That boy of theirs is certainly a helpful young man.' 'The girl is a little pixie but with a heart of gold.'

Bella realized that gossip was something that was universal. No matter where you go or who you speak to, someone, somewhere, had something to say about someone. She had decided this was not the type of people she would be associating with since gossip seemed to be a main recurring topic. She just wanted to live under the radar and try to have a quiet life that was hers and only hers.

Maybe small towns weren't the best idea. Places like this caused gossip and word of mouth was everything. Bella decided at that moment she was going to move on to a larger place like Seattle or Vancouver.

Bella stopped beside the only coffee shop in town. She knew she needed something to eat before getting back on the road. She opened the door listening to the chime from the bell held in place above the door. She walked to the counter and sat reaching for a menu even though she knew what she would order.

"Hey, you're back." The waitress said politely as she walked quietly over to Bella.

Bella looked up to see the petite blue-eyed woman startled at the fact that she had not heard her coming. 'Am I already too comfortable for this town? How can a heavily pregnant woman sneak up on me like that?' Bella thought to herself as she mentally made note of another what-not-to-do. That list was getting very long but if she was to have a life without any fear she needed to remember the do's and do not's of letting her guard down. She mentally thanked Mrs. Cope for that.

"Hello? Sweetie? Are you okay?" The woman asked with genuine concern.

"I was just noting that for a woman so close to giving birth you walk so quietly and with such grace." She had learned in the last year how to recover quickly. That came from her 'to do' list. But that list had also taught her to try and keep as close to the truth with her comments as possible. It was far too easy to be caught in a lie.

"Try telling my husband that. He thinks I purposely shake the house at night just to irritate him." She laughed jokingly.

She was being sincere when speaking of her husband. This was definitely something Bella had begun to understand about marriages and relationships. They were full of love and gentleness not always fear, loathing and hatred.

Bella faked a laugh at woman's sincerity. "Could I just get two pieces of toast and some water?"

"Would you like some jam with that today?"

Bella rattled the change in her coat pocket trying not to be conspicuous. "No, I better not."

The woman raised her eyebrow a little at the clinging sound in Bella's pocket. She turned and walked into the kitchen to place Bella's order and walked back out with a cup in hand. "Here, I think you could use this."

Bella looked at the cup of coffee the woman placed in front of her. She wasn't use to the idea of someone being nice just for the sake of being nice. "What's the catch?"

The woman, Alice, as Bella now noticed on her name tag, shrugged her shoulders and replied, "No catch. Just looks like you need something warm in your stomach."

"Well, thank you but no thank you. I don't want to be treated like a charity case. I'll pass." She hadn't meant for it to come across so harsh. Bella had learned that being given gifts required a price. There had been some prices that she wouldn't pay and had walked away from the 'gifts'.

Alice stood stunned at the accusation being made. She thought for a moment and looked meaningfully into Bella's eyes. "It's not charity. You'll be paying for the coffee."

"But I didn't ask for it and I don't have the money to pay for it."

"Well, then you can work it off."

"What?"

"I'll provide you with coffee and a full breakfast if you do the dishes in the kitchen for me. This way you have a full stomach and I won't have to kill my baby stretching into the sink today. Does that sound like a fair trade?" Alice said with a sincere tone.

The smells coming from the kitchen were contorting Bella's insides making it impossible to resist the temptation of the hospitality. "Deal."

"Good. Now, drink your coffee and I'll get you your food."

~ANL~

As Bella washed the dishes in the sink she couldn't remember the last time she felt so full or satisfied. Alice was a pleasant lady who had a loving way about her. Bella could read that now and joyfully thought how lucky that unborn child would be and the love it would receive.

Having learned quickly to pay better attention around Alice, Bella heard her quiet footsteps coming up behind her. She turned slightly to announce to Alice that she knew she was coming. "Kind of hard to catch you off guard I see?"

"No, not really." Bella lied with such grace. "Who knows, maybe your husband was right. It felt like an earthquake just rocked the joint."

"Someone with a bad sense of humor. Nice." Alice said to herself as she rolled her eyes.

"Sorry, Alice, I just notice how quiet and peaceful this place is. It would be hard not to notice anything."

Alice seemed to be overthinking. When she refocused, she spoke again. "I was wondering...uh...sorry, I never did get your name."

"Bella."

"Well, Bella. I was wondering if you were living here in town or just passing through?"

Bella stopped for a moment and analyzed the question for any reasons for concern. She decided to be cautious and lie. Bella responded, "I was thinking of staying for a while. I think I could handle a normal routine for a while if I had a reason for staying. I move around a lot but this place seems to grow quickly on a person."

"You know, those were the words my parents used when they first moved here and continue to say to this day."

"Is there a reason for the question?"

"Well, since you're thinking of staying I was thinking about offering you a job. I've been told that I have a talent for reading people. You, my dear, seem to have a sense of right and wrong and how to pull people in. This place will need a waitress when I leave later this week and I believe you'll need a job if you're going to live here. What do you think? Would you like to take my spot?"

"Won't you need to pass this through the owner first?"

"Well, considering I'm the owner I guess she's saying yes to the idea."

Bella chuckled a little and looked once again over her shoulder. She saw something profound in Alice and could see her charm rubbing off. Who was this woman who could melt the heart of the devil himself and draw you into her web of security?

"Well, in that case, since my only reference has given such high praises to the owner, how can I say no?" Bella answered. 'Staying here may not be the worst idea I've had.'

"Good. Now that that's settled we'll need to do some paperwork for you."

Bella dropped the pan into the sink. 'Damn, what the hell was I thinking?'

All the odd jobs she had done over the past year had been under the table. Even the coffee shop she had somehow managed that. That, of course, had been thanks to Mrs. Cope. But this was different. This was not some temp job. This was an 'up to standards' place that would expect the paperwork to be in triplicate.

"Bella, is there a problem?"

"Yes...well...no, I mean...Alice, thank you for the offer but maybe this isn't the best of ideas."

Alice shot a look at Bella as if to work out the issue that had suddenly arose. "Okay, another trade then." She said in a point-of-fact tone realizing there was an unspoken issue. "You work here for me and I'll provide you with food and shelter in exchange. You'll receive 100% of your tips to use as spending money. Once you feel you're ready to put everything to paper we'll make other arrangements."

"Alice?" Bella questioned trying to decipher if there was any deceit in the woman's words.

"Don't give me that look, Bella. I've seen the 'I am innocent' look more than enough times from my brother to know when something is up. I like you for some reason. I feel the need to protect you. It's just a feeling. I don't know why."

Bella thought to herself that this was a bad idea. Either she was going to get hurt or she was going to get other people hurt. One way or the other this would not turn out well for either side. But even with her inner voice screaming those facts she still looked at Alice and smiled. "Alice, I accept your offer."

"Perfect." Alice stated with a beautiful and sincerely innocent smile.

**So what do you think of our wonderful Alice? She's based on a good friend of mine. I love her with all my heart. "AIMH, BG."**

**Rec'd:**

**Metal Pointe by theonlykyla. A very honest and vocal friend. Her FB group is called Theonlykyla Fanfiction. Show her tons of love.**


	4. Beginings

**BEGINNINGS**

**I'm so happy to see all the followings and reviews. Please forgive me for not answering the reviews. With only constant internet on BB it's hard to answer. Just know, I love you all.**

**Author's note at the bottom.**

**Reminder: SM owns these beautiful characters. I only borrow them to use as therapy for myself.**

~ANL~

Bella slowly worked her eyes open the next morning. It took her a moment to remember where she was. She sighed and wondered how she got herself into this mess. The only family she had decided to steer clear of and leave this town because of was now the one she was bordering with. The pixie of a woman was now her boss.

She pulled the heavy comforter tighter to her. She could hear the rain falling outside the big picture window. She turned on her side and watched the downpour. It was relaxing to see it from a dry view. Sleeping wasn't so comfortable trying to shelter yourself from the water.

Bella heard quiet voices in the hallway outside the larger than life room Alice had given her. She slipped out of the bed and listened carefully trying to pick up on any threats she may have to be cautious of. This was another to do on her list.

She heard a male voice say, "Shouldn't you wake her? She will need to pay her way."

"No! She deserves a good sleep. I don't think she's had one in some time. Leave her be, Jasper."

"Alice, you need to stop doing this. We don't know anything about her."

"I can't explain it, Jazz. If you had seen her you'd understand. She's different. I feel a pull to her. She needs us."

The last thing Bella heard as they made their way down the hall was Jasper saying, "I hope we don't regret this."

Bella walked back to the bed. She sat on the edge and ran her hands through her hair. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do. She had known Alice less than 24 hours and already Bella was indebted to her. She couldn't just walk out without repaying that debt.

She thought back to the previous day and remembered that Alice wasn't the only one who had made her feel welcome. She had met a few of the family members and they all seemed like Alice, open and extremely friendly and honest.

Esme was the first of the family that Bella had met. Esme seemed a quiet thoughtful woman. She was very welcoming but had some reservations. She should too, they all should. Having a stranger practically dragged into her home would be unsettling for many people. Bella did notice that Esme's life revolved around her family and her home. She had been the stay at home mom and because of that had developed a flair for decorating. Her old Victorian style was reflected in both her personality and home. The one word that best described the beautiful woman was 'breathtaking'.

Bella giggled for the first time in years as she remembered her introduction to Alice's brother, Emmett. He had just arrived home from a shift at the local steel mill. For a man his size it seemed a fitting job for him. Bella had been terrified when he had squeezed his body through the frame of the kitchen door. She had been on guard immediately.

His personality though had shocked Bella to her very core. She knew she would have some rethinking to do about men. He had walked in and knelt beside Alice and talked to her stomach like the baby was answering back. She watched in fascinated wonder as he carried on the conversation. They had all been laughing themselves to tears when he stood and introduced himself to Bella.

Bella felt safe immediately with him after that. The same soothing voice he had used with the baby he used with her. There was no malcontent in his voice, his posture or his attitude. He was a light-hearted man who also had the most trusting feel to him. This was strange due to the fact that she had tried to wrap herself in a cocoon of iron around all men.

After the first home cooked meal in what seemed like forever Bella had the distinct pleasure of meeting Carlisle. He was Alice's father. For a first time grandfather he seemed a little young, however, the moment he opened his mouth he certainly wise beyond his years. The words he spoke and the welcome he had given to Bella had been the sweetest she had ever heard from a man. He sort of scared her. She realized that under that sweetness was a man with the memory of an elephant. Being a doctor she was sure he would noticed things about her that others would miss. She felt the need to be cautious of the man.

Bella decided that it was time to make an entrance into this new world she had become involved in. She moaned as her body fought the movement. It screamed wanting her to climb back under the covers. The bed was like laying on a cloud on a calm summer's day. She didn't think she had ever had such a wonderful sleep in her whole twenty-four years of life.

She had been blessed with a bathroom directly across the hall. With such a large house came a large number of bathrooms. Alice had made sure Bella got a room with a bathroom all to herself. It was just another debt to be paid. She did, however, share the same floor as Alice and her husband, Jasper. He was one of the few family members she had not met yet. He seemed to her from the conversation in the hallway to be a practical man who knew you couldn't waste life living off others. She appreciated that kind of a spark in people. She didn't want to be that kind of person and she wanted to make sure this family knew that.

She opened the door quietly as to not disturb anyone who may still be sleeping in the house. As per her forced habit she peeked down the hallway to see if anyone was coming. Thankfully, this room was on one corner of the house at the end of the hallway so no two-way looks were necessary. With the coast being clear she scooted across to the small room.

After a long shower with some very hot water she emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around herself. Bella silently decided to buy a housecoat as soon as possible. Opening the door sent a cold draft to creep into the bathroom. She shivered from the cold of the hallway, did her check and stepped out.

At the same time as she planted her feet in the hallway she swung around to the sound of someone jumping off the stairs leading to the third floor landing. A man landed gracefully on the floor of the hallway she presently occupied.

The man spun around with a very startled stare. His eyes remained blank for a split second before he crouched. As if he was about to pounce Bella felt the fear slam into her. She felt the need to protect herself at all costs.

She raced across the hall and into her room. Without hesitating she reached under her pillow and grabbed the pepper spray she always carried. Making a turn on one foot she realized the man was faster than she had thought. He stood in the entrance to the room. His emotions were written in his stare. Anger, confusion and hate made this man dark and dangerous.

Bella took noticed of the man. He was so much taller than she was but since he was poised to strike she couldn't tell how much. He was pale which contrasted perfectly with his flaming eagle hair which seemed to have a morning after look. His features were sharp almost as if he had been chiseled from stone.

She opened her mouth to question the man. Before a word fell from her lips Bella watched as the man fell sideways into the door. Alice swooped silently into the room. She continued to shocked Bella.

Taking a quick glance at the situation Alice said with a with a surprising amount of anger, "Edward. Stop. Now!"

Standing between Bella and Edward she braced herself for the oncoming slaughter. Bella was quick minded enough to lower her defenses even though it killed her to do so. She dropped the pepper spray on to the bed and stood straight up. Placing her arms to her sides she hoped that this man would have enough common sense not to hurt a woman she was beginning to call a friend.

Edward's muscles relaxed as he stood and Bella saw for the first time his true height. She would never have been able to fight a man his size had he really wanted to harm her. The fiery blaze in his eyes disappeared as he took on a look of true confusion. He looked back and forth between her and Alice.

There was something in his face that suddenly made Bella feel like a prize waiting to be claimed. She decided to break the tension that hung like thick smoke in the room. "Could everyone please excuse me so I can make myself decent to strangers?"

Edward grumbled as he turned and stormed out of the room. "Fuck, Alice, not again."

"Oh, Bella. I'm so sorry. We'll certainly get out of your way." Alice turned noticing the fact that Bella was holding her towel tight against herself. "Don't get dressed yet. I have some clothes that might fit you. We certainly can't have you wearing the same clothes every day."

Bella realized in that moment that Alice was so much more observant than she had given her credit for. This was going to be a very dangerous family to hide from mentally. Bella started devising a plan for escape. She wasn't going to take any chances on the problems that might arise in the future. Escaping now was the only option. Well, escape wasn't the right word for it but she couldn't allow herself to be put in debt with these people more than she already felt she was.

"Bella?"

Bella jumped. 'How does this little woman do that?' she thought as she spun around to find the petite woman standing in the middle of her room hold a pile of clothes in her arms.

"Sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to startle you. Are you okay? You seem to be a jumpy woman."

"I'm fine. Just a lot of adjusting to. I'm not use to being around people. I like to stay to myself and my privacy is something I seem to appreciate far too much. Some people take that the wrong way."

"Well, listen. In this house we respect privacy. You're welcome to as much of it as you would like. I only ask that you let me in once in a while so I can share my friendship with you."

Bella stared with her mouth hanging. She honestly never been given the chose of privacy before. She wasn't sure whether to believe it or not. "Thank you, Alice. I would like to think of you as a friend." Blushing slightly Bella added, "Are those for me?"

"Oh my god, I am so sorry. You must be getting so cold standing there like that. Here, you try these on and anything that fits is yours. Okay?"

"Thank you." What more could Bella say to that.

"I'll see you downstairs when you're ready." Alice said as she turned and floated out of the room closing the door behind her.

Bella shook her head still amazed with the woman's ability to cross a room and barely touch the floor.

Bella had found some of the clothes to her liking and carefully selected ones that would hide her body. She could tell these clothes did not originally belong to Alice. The size was wrong as was the style. Having dried her hair and making herself presentable she made her way down the staircase pausing to remember the way to the kitchen. This was certainly a big house.

Finding her way was not very hard. The voices floating from the room held her back for a moment. She could hear a least two distinct female voices. Listening for another moment she could then hear two male voices as well. She was performing the normal routine of listening so she would know what she was walking into put her plan was suddenly cancelled as she heard movement in one of the rooms behind her.

Bella straightened herself up and took a couple of deep breaths to settle herself. Walking with confidence into the kitchen, she came upon a family portrait. The mother with an apron wrapped around her slender body at the stove frying up some eggs. Placing a plate onto the table was the daughter kissing her father on the forehead. The brother scarfing down the food and trying to carry the father/son talk at the same time. The father relaxing in the chair reading the morning paper answering back to the son when required. 'They can't be this perfect all the time' Bella thought to herself.

"Good morning, Bella. I heard you had an interesting morning so far." Esme greeted her with such warmth in her voice.

"I can truly say I've never had such a morning." Bella replied. It was true. First almost being attacked and then walking into the Beaver kitchen sounded scary but it was worse than anything she had ever experienced.

"Bella, sit and have something to eat."

"Thank you, Carlisle, but I'm not very hungry."

"Bella. Sit. Now."

Bella looked at Alice and chuckled. For such a small woman she certainly knew how to throw her authority around. Everyone in the room seemed be use to the display as they continued their routine. Bella sat down and immediately had a plate placed in front of her with a quick hug coming from behind her. She assumed correctly that it was Alice. The food looked delicious and Bella paced herself in eating the wonderful meal. She wouldn't admit it to these people but she was starving.

She had only taken a couple of bites when through the door came the flaming eagle who had threatened her life only a short time earlier. Bella conveniently ignored him as she placed another bite of food in her mouth.

"Good morning, Edward. Late night?" Carlisle asked looking up momentarily from his paper.

"Not too late. But obviously it was late enough to miss the introduction to Alice's new pet." Edward answered looking directly at Bella.

"Edward!" everyone in the room said in unison.

"Excuse me. I'm no one's pet. How dare you insinuate that I would be anyone's PET!" Bella shot back shocked at Edward's ignorance.

"I call it as I see it. Besides Alice loves bringing home strays."

Bella rose from her chair and stood toe to toe with the tall man. "For your information I am no stray. I pay my way in this world. I'm sure that's more than can be said for you. By the way, just for the record, this is your home not mine. Living with someone as ignorant as you would make me run away from home."

Bella spun on one foot and made her way out of the kitchen and walked with dignity up the stairs to her room. After closing the door she fell onto the bed. 'What the hell just happened?' She thought to herself. She realized she had never been strong enough or brave enough to stand up to a man before. Fear had always kept that at bay. There was something about this man that brought out a beast in her. It was too bad she wouldn't be here to find out what it was or learn how to use that beast. It was definitely time to move on.

**Rec'd:**

**Love Through Another's Eyes by Eternally Edward's Girl. She's a sweetheart and in constant need of protection from some seriously nasty girls. **

**Yes, Mere and Jackie, I'm talking about you and the TKO. ROTFLMAO.**

**Author's Note: Thank you TweetyTweets for your review. I can only give this one piece of advice to your aunt. One day of freedom makes up for all the years of abuse. Make your life your own and live it to the fullest. I was the girl in this story (creative license put in there) and I made it. It wasn't easy to make that leap but it was worth it.**


	5. Blood

**BLOOD**

**As much as some of you would love to see more of Edward, you'll have to wait. We have another family member to meet and she's a spitfire. Please enjoy my second favorite character from the books.**

**Reminder: SM owns these beautiful characters. I only borrow them to use as therapy for myself.**

~ANL~

With her backpackpacked and thrown over her shoulder, Bella snuck quietlydown the stairs. She hoped she could find the back door to make it a quick exit. She wasn't going to have stay in this house with a man who bullied and belittled her like she had in the past.

As she stepped of the last step she heard footsteps approach. She paused hoping that the person hadn't seen her. She turned her head slightly and found a tall beautiful model walking towards her. The presence of the woman could stop traffic. She was slender and walked with such grace just like Alice. Unlike Alice, though, she made her presence known. Bella knew immediately where Alice had found the clothes she had given to her. All the clothes except the ones she wore were now folded neatly on the bed upstairs.

"You must be Bella." Her voice was like an angel. Was there nothing about this woman that didn't scream perfection?

"Yes." Bella felt she could never compare to this woman.

"My name's Rosalie. I'm Edward's sister."

"Well, I feel sorry for you." Bella replied, thankful that this woman had one flaw.

"Excuse me?!" The tone was definitely not angelic anymore.

"After his attitude I feel sorry for anyone related to him." Bella answered while standing tall. She wouldn't be allowing anyone think that his treatment of her was acceptable.

"Now, see hear. My brother was raised better than that. The Cullen's don't condone that kind of behavior and he knows it but I would watch what you say about him. I'm his sister, after all, and no matter what his manners are like I believe he has right to what he said."

Considering that this was the same family the town gossip was all about, Bella decided the town folk had pegged this family wrong. They were suppose to be sweet, kind and helpful. Well, maybe the Cullen's were but this brother/sister duo were definitely not like the rest of them.

"Look, I don't need anyone speaking to me this way. I was welcomed by Alice. I accepted the offerings and the hospitality that came along with that welcoming. I won't stay and be subjected to such a disregard of common curtesy. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way and your brother can have HIS home back."

As Bella turned to leave Rosalie grabbed her by the arm. "Now who has no common curtesy. My family accepts you with open arms and you're going to disrespect them by leaving. After one run-in with my brother you are going to walk out the door without so much as a 'thank you' or 'good bye' to them. Well, I see how you were raised."

Bella looked down suddenly feeling so small and looked down at the floor. Before she realized what she was saying, she whimpered, "You have know idea how I was raised."

Rosalie released Bella's arm. Bella looked up and saw what looked like a moment of clarity cross Rosalie's face. "Maybe I do. You don't know anything about me so don't tell me what I do or don't know. I do know that running away isn't the way to deal with anything. Have you ever thought about giving people a chance."

Bella saw in Rosalie's eyes that she meant every word she was saying. "You sound like you have used those words before."

"No, I haven't used them but I've heard them. They were used on Edward and I when we decided to leave. Carlisle is very profound. Bella, I'm not sure what to make of you but if you walk out this door making Alice upset, you'll have one hell of a shiner to leave with. That'll be my offering to you. I won't see my family dooped again by another user. If you stay and give the Cullen's a chance maybe you can see what a REAL family is." Rosalie said in a much different light.

Bella thought for a moment. Could she handle all this? Was this woman being truthful about the idea that there is a different breed of family out there? People who were nothing like what she was use to calling a family?

"Fine, I'll stay." She decided. She would base staying on a daily basis. "I owe Alice for everything she has given me in the last 24 hours. But, whatever your brother's problem is just tell him to stay away from me."

"You may not like my brother but he isn't the only person in this family. He's seen Alice hurt before but the reaction he gave you in the kitchen was different. He normally avoids Alice's little runaways. There's something about you has gotten to him. You weren't ignored like the others."

"I wish he had."

Rosalie tilted her head a little and replied thoughtfully. "You may come to regret that comment. I think you and Edward need each other in ways you can't even imagine but I'll warn him."

Bella didn't like the sounds of that and knew she would have to be extra cutious around Edward. What would a man such as Edward have that she would need? Nothing, that's what.

Rosalie grabbed Bella's backpack. Bella held tight. Rosalie gave her an evil glare. "Alice sent me to find you. Do you really want her to see that ratty thing and know you were going to hurt her?"

Bella knew she had no true intentions of hurting Alice. There was something about her that was captivating. She removed the backpack and handed it to Rosalie. She opened the closet door and set the bag inside.

"Where is she?" Bella asked.

"In the kitchen having her hand looked at."

"What? Why?" Bella asked with surprised concern.

"I'll let her tell you. She definitely went to bat for you. In a strange way, it was kind of funny. I never thought I'd be proud of the little pixie. Didn't realize she had an angry bone in her body." Rosalie chuckled as she pulled Bella behind her.

Bella was more confused than ever. 'What is it about these people? Emotions run very high around here. Like flicking through the channels on a TV. You never know which program you end up watching.'

Bella walked into the kitchen still being dragged behind Rosalie. She released her grip and walked towards the coffee pot on the far counter. Sitting on a chair at the table, Alice was wincing in pain. Her hand was laying flat with her palm side down. Carlisle was tending to Alice whose hand was noticeable larger than it should be.

"Well, Alice, I don't think you broke any bones but you won't have use of that hand for a while. We'll have to head to hospital to get stitches for that cut." Carlisle said.

"Alice, are you okay?" Bella asked as she walked over to look at the hand. It was definitely bigger than it should have been.

Bella realized her mistake too late. She had always had this way when it came to blood. There was so little of it that Bella was certain that looking would not cause any harm. The stupid choices Bella subjected herself to.

As soon as the metallic smell hit her nose all Bella heard was her name and then nothing. She felt a set of strong arms catch her as she dropped to the floor. The odor from that small amount of blood was enough to overload her senses and cause her stomach to lurch. Thankfully, she had not had enough food to cause any results to the lurching.

"Hey, pet. Are you okay? I have you." Bella wasn't very sure who had made the comment as the world inside her head continued to spin. "I have her. You take Alice to the hospital and I will take the pet up to the bedroom."

There were more words exchanged but Bella couldn't find the strength to concentrate on the meaning or who was speaking. There were more firey voices but all they were doing was making her head hurt more. She tried to move but realized that she was being carried. The person carrying her was holding onto her tightly. It made it impossible to move.

"You're a squirmy little thing, aren't you?"

Bella tried to respond but found she couldn't stop the spinning in head long enough to form coherent words.

She felt her body being placed on a strangely familar soft cloud as everything went black.

**This and the next chapter use to be one chapter. I wanted to split it up. Rosalie needed her moment to shine without Edward interferring. I'm sorry it was short but I know you'll forgive me when you get a whole chapter of Edward. There are certain people who'll forgive me when that happens. *wink***


	6. Deal

**DEAL**

**Another short chapter, but it is so worth it.**

**I see I have some Edward lovers out there *wink*. If you think he was hot before,wait until you get a taste of him now. **

**Scarlett72 asked for ages of the characters. Bella is 24. I don't mention the ages of the others but if there was an order of oldest to youngest it would go like this.**

**Emmett, Edward, Jasper, Bella, Rosalie and Alice. **

**The ages are so close together because Emmett and Alice are biological siblings, Edward and Rosalie are also biological siblings and Jasper married into the family.**

**Many thanks to my new beta. SunflowerFran3759, this wouldn't be what it is without you. Awesome job, girl.**

**Reminder: SM owns these beautiful characters. I only borrow them to use as therapy for myself.**

~ANL~

"Hey, Pet."

"Mmmmmm."

"Come on. Time to rise and shine."

"Wha...?" Bella opened her eyes slightly. The lights flooding the room were harsh and sharp. She squinted as she felt a heavy fog lift and her head felt instantly lighter. The constant thumping, however, made her regret everything. She had an instant replay of the events in the kitchen. She groaned as she relived the mistake again. She slowly took in her surroundings and realized she was in the bedroom that Alice had so graciously given to her. Her eyes landed on the owner of the voice that had brought her out of her wonderful slumber.

"What do you want?" Bella moaned as she turned her back to him.

"Well, first to make sure you didn't give yourself a concussion." Edward said as he reached down to help Bella sit up.

Bella pushed his hands away. She threw the covers back and forced herself into a sitting position on the opposite side of the bed. "What are you a doctor?"

"Funny." Edward chuckled. "Actually, I'm doing my residence at the hospital with Carlisle. So may I please check and see if you are okay?"

"Fine, whatever." Bella said".

Edward rose and walked around the bed. He stood a little too close for her comfort. She had an image in her mind of her personal space and she wasn't comfortable having it invaded by others. She pushed him back and gestered making a circle with her hands.

"Got it." Edward answered the unspoken command as he reached towards her again.

He ran his hands carefully through her hair, massaging her scalp. He touched a spot on the back and she winced in pain. She must have hit something when she fainted.

"Yeah, I thought you had. I've got quick reflexes but I never expected you to drop as fast as you did. You hit the edge of the kitchen island." Edward stated as he turned her around carefully.

He examined the spot for the source of the pain. He moved his fingers lightly over the sore spot. Bella flinched but held her ground. She wouldn't allow him to see any other weakness from her unless it was necessary. When he finished his exam he let her go. She turned back to face him and saw a look she had seen too many times in her life.

"I see you are a magnet for injuries." he stated.

Bella knew that Edward had felt the scars she had on her head from the number of times she had 'fallen' down. That was always the excuse she always used. '_I am a very clumsy person or 'I can't walk across a smooth surface without finding something to trip over.' _How many times did she use those excuses when she was able to get to a hospital after run-ins with 'him'?

"I'm a very clumsy person." Bella replied with a very well-practiced voice. She made sure to keep her tone neutral.

"I'm sure you are." Edward said. He didn't sound convinced.

Bella ignored the comment and said, "And reason number two?"

"What?" Edward asked confused.

"You said, and I quote, 'first to make sure you didn't give yourself a concussion'. So let's get to the second reason"

"Nice memory. Now that I am certain that you don't have any memory loss we can move on. The second reason's because I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Well, I am, not that it's any concern of yours. You can leave. I can take care of myself."

"Actually, no I can't, Pet. Alice threatened that if you and I weren't friends by the time she got back that I would receive more than just a punch in the face."

Bella looked in shock and realized Edward's jaw was slightly swollen and had the beginnings of a nice shiner. Suddenly she felt her courage and anger boiling to the surface again. "Excuse me?! Did you just call me Pet? What the fuck? Get out of my room!"

"That's just not going to happen, Pet. I don't need Alice pissed any more than she is." Edward stated in a way that made him sound a little afraid.

"Well, I guess Alice is going to be a little disappointed. You and I will never be friends, Creep. I'll be in Alice's corner cheering her on as she kicks your ass."

Edward pinched his nose with his fingers as if he was trying to find some sense of patience. Bella wasn't going to let him have it. She wasn't going to let him off the hook for his attitude even if he was as beautiful as his sister. She could feel something strange tugging at her insides. A feeling she had never felt before. It was strange. She felt uncomfortable and anxious at the same time. She felt a strange need to touch the man or more to have him to touch her. The idea repulsed her as much as it excited her.

Edward broke the moment as he walked away from the bed and grabbed a glass off the dresser. Walking back to her, Bella could see the emerald green eyes boring into her soul. _'Who is this man? How does he have such a way about him?'_

"Listen. I'm sorry about how I acted in the kitchen." He said with a sigh as he handed her the glass.

Bella knew he was trying to defuse the situation. He didn't care about her, his only concern was Alice. She definitely had a way about her. Bella felt that in the dictionary Alice's definition would be 'best friend or worst enemy'.

"Listen, you caught me off guard this morning. It wasn't the best way to wake up after a 24 hour shift."

So the man's a workaloholic.

"How would you react to finding a stranger in your house?" Edward asked.

Bella took the pills Edward offered and swallowed them down with the water.

Edward continued, "Alice has brought strays home before and we have paid the price more than once."

'_Damn, this man's infuriating. First he calls me a pet and now a stray_.' Bella thought.

"I love my family, and they need to be protected. I don't think Alice could handle her love and gratitude being used again. When she gets hurt, we all get hurt."

Bella stared at Edward. He meant every word he said. '_How many times had Alice done this?'_

"Do me a favor? If you are planning on using and abusing my family then leave now while Alice isn't here. You could make a clean break."

Bella suddenly felt guilty for trying to leave this morning. She wondered if Rosalie had outed her to Edward.

Edward seemed to sense Bella's thoughts. "Listen, I'll cover for you. They'll never think anything bad about you."

Bella was beginning to come into focus with who and what this man was all about. She finally found her voice and softened her tone slightly. "You truly think you know me, well you don't. Alice deserves better than what others have done. She is very kind hearted and loving. How could anyone wanted to hurt that innocence?"

Edward walked to the window. His shoulders sagged.

Bella realized what she had almost done earlier. "I understand why you want to protect your family, but you have to believe me when I tell you I could never hurt Alice in that way. I will protect Alice, but I will protect myself too. I won't allow anyone to be hurt because of me. I would walk out the door before I would harm her or this family in any way."

Edward turned and looked hard at Bella. He knew there was something more under the surface of what she was saying. "Good. That's all I want to hear. Now, can we attempt that friendship? I really don't want an ass kicking from the 'hell pixie'."

"First," Bella commanded, as she moved forward and planted herself toe-to-toe with Edward. His smell was captivating. "I want your word you'll stop calling me 'Stray' and 'Pet'. You do that and I'll play nice-nice in front of the family. Maybe I'll think about considering you a friend, but that's a right you're going to have to earn, Creep."

Edward shook his head and chuckled. "Well, now, you see, there's a problem. I'm going to continue calling you Pet since you like calling me Creep."

He gently moved his hand and cupped her chin. He looked deep into her eyes, making her weak in the knees. "And, trust me, I'm no creep. All's fair in love and war, Pet."

"Love's something I'm sure you know nothing about, but you definitely can consider this war, Creep." Bella stated, as she moved herself away from his hand.

A deal had been made, but Bella silently hoped she hadn't made it with the devil.

**Rec'd:**

**The Demons in My Dreams by littlecat358. This story is based on past history that LittleCat has had in her job. Trust me when I say this story is awesome and shows the little known side of social services dealing with fostering and adoptions. It is now a completed story and has a very hot Edward, tats and all.**


	7. Family

**FAMILY**

**I want to thank everyone who has read and review this story. **

**I want to welcome back my facebook friend and fellow writer, Cutestkidsmom. She unfortunately found herself in a power outage during Hurricane Sandy. **

"**I'm very happy you and your family made it through safe and sound, beautiful."**

**Huge shout out to my beta, my sense of sanity and my mental slap on the back of the head when I'm doubting myself. Sunflower3759, you rock my world.**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyers owns these characters. I only use them for my own form of therapy.**

~ANL~

Bella's life changed in many ways over the next few weeks. After a year on the run, a routine wasn't something Bella was use to. It was strange and terrifying, but it was also relaxing and soothing.

Bella had started at the coffee shop the day after Alice's 'accident'. Thanks to the many odd jobs she had over the years, Bella's extensive knowledge made Alice and Jasper take a second look at what her role at the shop should be. Alice had come in to work, even though she had with instructions from the family to stay off her feet. She slowly began showing Bella how to run the day to day activities.

Bella wasn't sure how comfortable she was with that much responsiblity and accepted it reluctantly at first. She thought someone more qualified should be put in charge, but since there were only a few other employees, the options just weren't there. Except for Bella and Jasper, the rest of the small staff were teenagers with teenage lives and schedules.

It was about two weeks after Bella had been put in charge that baby Cynthia arrived. Bella stepped up her duties, making sure that every night she brought the receipts and deposits back to the house. This way Jasper could stay at home with Alice and still be able to keep up with his responsibles for the accounting and business side of the shop.

The delivery hadn't gone the way anyone had plan. Unfortunately, because Alice was such a petite woman, she had undergone a c-section. Everyone had been scared out of their minds when she had to be rushed to Seattle. Thankfully, mother and baby had come home quickly and were now being smothered with attention and love.

Bella didn't like the idea, no, she hated the idea of working days. It never had worked out well for her. This time there was no choice, so she doubled her efforts to watch her back. Every new person who walked into the coffee shop got a look over from Bella. At first, this made her seem standoffish to the community but as people got more familiar with Bella's way of doing things, she soon became a welcome addition.

She didn't talk much about herself, but everyone found her to be a good listener. She was quickly becoming the town therapist. She never gossiped about anything that she was told in private. She was happy to be a friendly mystery to them.

On the home front, Bella received the privacy that Alice had promised. As she watched the interaction between the Cullens she realized what had been missing in her life. She had thought that maybe someday she would find a good therapist to help her sort out all of her issues, but for now a journal would be a good idea. It was always kept in her backpack. She didn't want something so private as that left around just in case it got into the hands of anyone. She would be mortified for it to ever be read.

She also spent time reading from Carlisle's overwhelming collection of books. He had a very comfortable, over-sized, leather chair that sat in a corner of the study. Bella found peace and solitude there, even if Carlisle was at his desk doing some sort of research.

On the rare occasion, when she was not working Bella would find herself laying out in the backyard on a blanket. Sometimes reading and other times, just enjoying the feeling of freedom as the sun filtered its way through the clouds.

One day, Bella was reminiscing about her time with the Cullens, and how her relationship with each of them had progressed. Some relationships, like Alice's, were great. Others, like Rosalie's, were strained.

Alice made herself available for Bella any time she wanted. Sometimes Alice would appear just to say hi. She would leave the option open for Bella, because Alice respected Bella's privacy issue. When Bella found herself keeping company with Alice, it was mostly conversations about clothes or Cynthia. It was always neutral and safe which Bella loved Alice for. She never pushed Bella for anything or about anything.

Jasper respected Alice so he was also more subdued. He would say the occasional 'hello' or carry on a conversation when it was required. Bella realized quickly that Jasper wasn't being rude, it was just that he was, in a way, a lot like her. He was a quiet man, a protective man, a private man. She felt equal with him. They were so much alike but for very different reasons.

It seemed strange seeing them together. Alice had so much bubbly personality and Jasper was so 'in the background'. They just fit together perfectly. It was like ying and yang.

Carlisle and Esme were the perfect family portrait. They were open and loving from the moment Bella had met them. She had waited for the other shoe to drop, but they still treated her like a daughter. She hadn't realized she had missed out on parents like them her whole life. Like Alice and Jasper, they never pushed for information about Bella's past. They never made her feel she had to tell them anything.

Both of them made it clearly known that if Bella ever wanted to talk or even just wanted a hug, they would be there with open arms. She never accepted the invite but took comfort in knowing it was there.

Rosalie and Emmett were like night and day. Rosalie kept a constant eye on Bella. No one in the house seemed to be aware of how close Bella had come to leaving that day, and Rose had kept that information to herself . She was very protective of the family in her own way, and he didn't want to them hurt.

Bella had found out that Edward and Rosalie were siblings who had been adopted by the Cullens, seems that they had come from a very unsafe life. There was never anything said about it, but Bella felt a connection to Rosalie. She knew they had experienced something that only few people in the world could understand, but Bella would never break her cardinal rule. She would _never talk about herself or her past._

Emmett turned out to be Alice's biological brother. Where Alice was tiny, Emmett was huge. Alice was all into fashion, while Emmett was into video games. Alice loved her down time, but Emmett didn't have any. The only thing that made them similar was their voice. Alice commanded attention, while Emmett stole the show.

Emmett was like the big brother Bella had never had. She was happy to have him around. That in itself was strange, since Bella had seen, time and time again,that men only want one thing.

Within the first couple of days, they had a routine worked out between them. Bella would play the weak little sister who needed her big brother's help and Emmett would come to the rescue, in a superhero fashion.

Bella stretched out on the blanket, breathing in the fresh air. Most of her rescues would be opening a new jar of pickles or fixing the remote control. But twice since her arrival, Emmett had to rescue her from Edward. She chuckled to herself about her last encounter of Emmett being the hero.

_Bella walked into the livingroom. She felt a smile creep across her face as Jasper and Emmett were enjoying some down time. That was definitely something that Jasper needed. Between Alice, Cynthia and the coffee shop, Bella __had never__seen Jasper relax for more than a few minutes._

_The game they were playing was a war game. Bella was lost on the meaning of __it and__ the enjoyment of it__, __but __she __appreciated the laugh she was getting from it. Emmett moved the controller like it was a real tank. His body rocked from side to side._

_Jasper on the other hand, seemed to be taking a strategic method to the game. He would watch Emmett and anticipate his next move. Jasper found himself winning game one. Game two was well underway when all hell broke loose._

_Bella had moved over to the coach, sitting on the floor beside Emmett, with her legs pulled up to her chest. Her chin was resting on her knees when she noticed Edward walk in holding a box._

_Emmett was the first to speak. "Hey, bro, whatcha got there?"_

"_A welcome present for Bella."_

_Bella looked up with a glare. She knew this couldn't be good. Everything in her screamed caution. "No thanks, Creep."_

_Edward threw his empty hand up and grabbed his chest. "Ouch! Am I really that untrustworthy?"_

_The resounding 'yes' that came in unison from her and the boys made Bella fall over in a laughing fit._

_Edward huffed and turned to leave the room. Bella, feeling guilty, spit out through her giggles. "Wha...*giggle*...th...bo...just...*giggle*...giv...it...to...me."_

"_You want me to give it to you? Jezz, Pet, didn't think you saw me in that __way." Edward paused and turned with that lop-sided grin that__ made __him a heartbreaker._

"_Eddie, fuck off. Leave. Her. Alone." Emmett warned with a friendly growl._

_Bella could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. The anger was quickly boiling. "Just give me the gift, Creep."_

"_Nope. I don't think you deserve it now."_

_Bella jumped up off the floor__, and __before she fully realized what she was doing, she found herself face to chest with Edward. She looked up __at __him and found herself mesmerized in his eyes._

_Something about Edward's expression suddenly had Bella stepping back. She wasn't sure how she felt about the look. He seemed to be lost within himself. The moment was suddenly lost when Bella felt Emmett's arm encircle her waist and sweep her away._

"_Fuck off, Edward. Not here, not now."_

_Bella was lost. She didn't understand what was going on. What did Emmett know? What had he figured out that had left Bella baffled? The darkness that had clouded Edward's eyes was frightening__, and __exhilarating at the same time._

_Edward shook his head and looked at Emmett with some unseen knowledge. They stayed locked for a moment before Emmett playfully punch Edward in the shoulder. _

"_So what's in the box?"_

_Edward's demeanor was back as quickly as it had disappeared. "A gift."_

"_Well, we got that much." Jasper stated._

_Edward pushed the present towards Bella. "Just something for Pet."_

_Bella cautiously stepped forward, taking the gift from Edward. "I guess it would be polite of me to say thanks, Creep."_

"_Yes, I think it would."_

"_Well, in that case, I won't be saying it." Bella chuckled. _

_She walked back to the couch and began opening the present. As she removed the top and examined the contents, she looked up and gave Emmett her signature 'I need a hero' look__, __that the two of them had mastered._

_Emmett, without even knowing why, looked at Edward, "Run."_

_Edward gave a belly laugh as he turned and fled from the room. "Hey all pets need accessories."_

_Emmett looked back at Bella as she removed the leash and collar from the box. "He's dead."_

Bella hadn't seen Edward for nearly a week after that stunt. Alice had told her that he had picked up double shifts at the hospital. Thanks to his 'gift', Bella had received a real gift of peace and quiet. She wasn't sure how she felt about it.

Bella watched as the clouds slowly rolled their way across the sky. She was getting chilled and decided to eat, and then head to Carlisle's study to continue reading.

She found the kitchen strangely empty. Usually there was at least one person in the kitchen cooking, cleaning or just relaxing. She listened and heard sounds coming from the livingroom and figured Emmett was playing his games again.

Bella shook her head as she opened the cupboard, still amazed by how much food there was to choose from. In her old life, the one on the run, she sometimes had gone days without food. Here, she had multitudes of choices.

She decided on one of her simple favorite, strawberry jam on toast. She threw a couple slices of bread in the toaster and headed to the fridge for some jam. As she pulled the jar from the fridge, she twisted the lid. Just as the lid popped, her fingers fumbled and the jam dropped to the floor. The sticky liquid spilled out onto the floor and Bella's foot. She slipped and landed right in the middle of the mess.

She heard footsteps racing into the room and a deep belly laugh. She turned and shot imaginary daggers at Edward, as he stood laughing and wiping tears from his eyes.

Bella dragged herself up off the floor leaving a sticky handprint on the island in the middle of the room. As she past Edward, still laughing, she gave him a one finger salute and then ran her hand up his face and through his hair.

"What? It's funny." Edward stated while trying to breathe.

"Fuck you, Edward. I'm done talking to you." Bella yelled. Silently, Bella vowed to make him suffer for laughing at her. He was about to get a taste of a very childish Bella.

**Rec'd.**

**Nobody's Little Girl by HelloElla. I cried more than once for Kid aka Bella.**


	8. Trying

**TRYING**

**Huge shout out to my beta, Sunflower3759. She makes sense out of my madness. Love you, beautiful.**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyers owns these characters. I only use them for my own form of therapy.**

~ANL~

"Bella?"

Silence.

"Bella?"

More silence.

"Hey, Pet!"

"What? Can't you see I am busy. Why do you have to be so annoying, Creep?" Bella countered. She found she couldn't help but be rude to Edward on a constant bases.

She didn't understand why, but Edward gave her a strange push to be strong and indignant to him. It had become a routine for them. Nasty attitudes, snide remarks, even name calling. Everyone in the house thought it was cute. Alice, of course, thought it was annoying and uncivilized.

"You don't look busy. Sitting in that chair, staring into space. What are you thinking about?" Edward remarked, as he walked into Carlisle's study.

"None of your business." Bella snarked back. 'God, just leave me alone.'

"Fine, whatever. You play the 'I am not thinking about anything' game. It doesn't work in this house."

"No, it just doesn't work on you. Can't you respect anyone's privacy?" Bella shot a glare at Edward.

"Well, if looks could kill." Edward said with mocked fear as he waved his hands in a sorry attempt to block the imaginary darts.

Bella smiled. She found that she couldn't help herself. There was something about him that brought out the best and worst in her. She wasn't sure she liked it, but it was easier than the alternative. She had never been allowed to be this woman around men before. There had always been consequences for her actions.

She watched as Edward continued his defense from her daggers. He looked like a monkey swinging from tree to tree. 'He's annoying but a great party favor.' She laughed at the thought of Edward being passed around like a rag doll.

Edward paused, misunderstanding what Bella found so funny. "Fine, be like that. I was just wondering why you're in this dark room? You always go outside and enjoy the sun when it appears."

Bella looked out the window and realized she had missed the sun's escape from its cloudy prison. 'Damn, how did that happen?'

"I want to show you something. But since you obviously don't like the sun anymore I'll just go by myself." Edward continued.

Bella whipped her head around. She squinted her eyes with skepticism. "Creep, why would you want to show me anything?"

"I have a feeling that you, out of everyone in this house would appreciate it the most, Pet. And, I would just love the opportunity to have something to hold over your head." Edward stated with a smile.

That crooked smile could light up a room; it could make the sun pale in comparison. Bella shook her head. 'Where the hell did that come from?'

Bella groaned. Edward had come to realize far too early that Bella hated surprises. But her curiosity was so much more dangerous, and he knew how to exploit it. Edward thrived on the idea of surprises and curiosity. He lived each day finding ways to irritate her with both.

"Fine. I'll bite." Bella growled. "What do you want to show me?"

"You want to bite me. Wait till I tell Alice. She will be thrilled." Edward mocked as he turned to head for the door.

Bella cursed herself for walking right into that one. Edward could twist her words so much. It was another thing on the list that she would seek out Emmett for. He loved bashing Edward. And since she had been around, he was getting way more chances than he had in the past.

Unfortunately, Bella knew Edward would tell Alice the twist of words. Being the only two single people in the house, Alice had decided she would play matchmaker. Bella had pleaded on her knees with Alice not to do it. She wouldn't allow herself to be put in a position to be hurt once again.

Bella was beginning to think that Edward wouldn't do anything like that to her. The way he was with his family was so different than she had ever experienced.

Bella jumped in a heartbeat and flew across the room yanking at Edward's arm. She needed to defuse this situation before Alice went psycho-matchmaker again. As she did though, Bella being Bella, tripped over the rug in the middle of the study and fell into waiting arms. She cursed her clumsiness once more. This would only encourage him.

Bella looked up into those green eyes. It seemed to happen far to often for her and she found herself lost in them every time. She felt strange feelings bubbling up inside, making her feel safe and warm. It only fooled her for a split second. She wouldn't allow her emotions to betray her. Men couldn't be trusted, but there was something in Edward's eyes too. It was almost like a want or need. Why would he want or need someone as broken as her?

She blushed in embarrassment. She had once again shown weakness in front of him. It was just another thing to be exploited.

"Bella, I..." He seemed to be at a loss for words. He held her for a moment longer before gently pulling her to her feet.

She wondered for just a moment if the warmth in his eyes was genuine. Quickly, she shook her head coming back to reality. She could not, and would not, let her defenses down with this man. She refused to be used and abused again. That was all every man in her life had done and she was beginning to value this strange bond between them. She didn't want to lose it.

She stepped back and examined herself quickly. She had learned early in her life how to ensure there was no reasons for a hospital visit. She had examined herself many times in the past and knew exactly what she was checking for. Having determined that everything was fine she looked up. She stopped dead in her tracks and realized her mistake.

Edward was looking at her with a stunned look of clarity on his face. It was almost as if he knew what she had been doing. As quickly as the look was there it was gone. He stepped forward and gingerly placed his arm around her shoulders. He lead her towards the door like she was a china doll.

She suddenly felt uncomfortable but followed silently.

"Come on, Bella. I have something beautiful to show you." His voice was soft and caring.

As they walked into the garage, Bella wished that the butterflies, along with Edward's arm would disappear. Everything she had come to expect from him had suddenly changed. He reminded her of Emmett; more protective and less obnoxious. Now she found herself scared of him. Had he figured it out? Had he encountered this at the hospital? Had he come to the realization about her past?

No, he couldn't have. She had been careful. She had learned how to cover her tracks. _'He' _wouldn't find her and this family wouldn't be harmed in any way. Bella's imagination was running overtime.

Bella felt Edward remove his hand. He was doing it so slowly like he was going to startle her. He walked to the far edge of the garage and reached for an old tarp. Flinging it to the side, dust flying everywhere, Bella's stomach dropped. There in front of her was what would be considered a death trap for a clumsy person like her... a motorcycle.

"Oh, fuck no, Creep. I'm not getting on that." Bella stated while stamping her foot. She knew the moment they had shared was gone. Hopefully, for good.

"But you have to, Pet." Edward replied with a definite tone of 'oh, yes you are'.

"Are you trying to kill me? Alice would murder you if you did that. Getting her favorite 'pet' hurt and all."

"Alice was the one who suggested the bike." Edward chuckled. "She figured it would be safer riding than walking since we all know how clumsy you can be."

"Oh, shut up. You love picking on me about that, don't you?"

"It has been fun since the jam incident." He laughed as if remembering the sight.

"Asshole." Bella said. Bella thought back to how pissed she had been. She had finally relented and had spoken to him almost two weeks after the incident.

"Been called worse." Edward said thoughtfully.

Bella was left confused about the way he made the comment.

"Come on. I promise I won't let you get hurt."

"I've heard that before." Bella slipped. She caught herself but realized the damage had been done again.

Edward once again stared at her. He looked like he was going to say something and then let it go. "Come on, Pet. Get on."

Bella paused for a moment. _'This shit is getting to real.' _She thought. _'I really have let my guard down with them.' _After taking a moment to decide whether this surprise was worth the risk, she walked over to the bike.

Edward turned the bike over, and he noise certainly declared it needed a tune-up. After Edward jumped onto the seat, he motioned towards the helmet. Bella pushed it over her head and swung her leg over, landing behind him. It was not her first time on a bike but he didn't know that. Nevertheless, she still didn't enjoy them.

"Ready?"

"Do I have a choice?"

Revving the engine Edward asked smartly, "What? Sorry, can't hear you."

Bella rolled her eyes as he flashed his crooked smile at her. He pulled out of the garage and drove out of town.

**Yes, it's short but I will be forgiven. Just wait and see.**

**Rec'd:**

**The Lies We Live With by Breath-of-twilight. Show the love.**


	9. Exhaustion

**Exhaustion**

**A huge shout-out to my besties, J-Tot, J-Wow, J-Teaser, J-Lemon and, unofficially, J-Mom. You girls make my world complete.**

***squishy hug* to my girls, J-Tot and Sunflower3759; my pre-reader and beta. Without them both, this would've have been one mess of a chapter.**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I just use them for my twisted sense of sanity.**

~ANL~

Bella sat on the tree stump. With her arms crossed over her chest, she gives Edward an evil glare. He had given the bike just enough speed, forcing Bella to hold tight against his back. The ride had been very emotional for her.

She had quickly realized that her body was betraying her inner thoughts. As much as she wanted to keep herself wrapped up inside her protective cocoon, her traitor body was screaming to be released. She was still unsure how the ride made her feel. Edward's smell had been intoxicating, but that knowledge had left her shaking and angry about what he was doing to her.

Bella smiled a little as Edward looked over the bike and swore. His plan had been ruined. He had known how to get under her skin with the surprise, but she had seen there had been a method to his madness. He had seemed proud of himself during the bike ride.

Edward had puffed his chest and given the bike a little more speed just to make her hold on tighter. He had wanted to break down her defenses and thought he had accomplished it. Now the tables had turned, and he was looking like the one who needed to be defended. The bike was the winner, this time.

"I knew you were bad news and the bike was a deathtrap." Bella said, with a light tone. She decided to take the shots where she could get them.

"Excuse me. I've never had problems with the bike before. It must be you. You bring trouble with you wherever you go and whatever you do." Edward growled, looking at her and then back at the bike.

She was pretty sure he didn't mean any harm with the comment, but it hurt none the less. Bella had heard similar words her whole life and wasn't going to have them thrown in her face anymore. She rose from her seat and walked away so he couldn't see how his words affected her.

Edward didn't realize that what he said may have made her mad, but he had the feeling that whatever bond they may have begun to form, was quickly evaporating.

"Bella, where are you going?"

"Back to the house." Bella growled.

"Just sit down. Emmett will be here soon." Edward said from behind her.

Bella just kept walking. She couldn't blame him for his comment but she needed space from him. She really didn't want to say something she'd regret.

"Bella, sit down, now." Edward commanded.

Bella felt a terrifying shiver run over her spine. Suddenly, she was afraid of him. Terrified was the better word for it. Her inner voice was screaming to tell him to screw off, but her body immediately obeyed. She sat on the ground with her back to him.

She could feel herself shaking in horror as the thoughts of what could happen if she disobeyed him. She tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spill.

Edward must have sensed something was wrong. His voice sounded suddenly closer. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just give me a minute." Bella had to get her body and inner voice under control. She couldn't allow Edward to find another weakness.

Bella felt Edward sit down beside her. He put his hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong, Pet?"

Bella fought to keep her composure. "Please, just leave me alone."

She pulled away from Edward. She pushed herself up and started to walk away. She heard Edward coming after her. He spun her around and forced her to look up at him.

Bella felt the tears fall down her cheeks. "I'm sorry about the bike. I guess I'm just bad luck."

Edward pulled her into him and held her tight. She felt torn; she wanted the protection she was feeling, but it frightened her. She was mentally tired of hiding herself from the world. She wanted to rest.

Her inner voice screamed again. Bella pushed against Edward's hold. She was crying uncontrollably as she sank back down to the ground.

Edward sat beside her and took her hand in his. "You're not bad luck, Pet. You've just had a lack of good luck."

Bella sat and allowed the emotions to come. She didn't want to seem weak, but somehow she was beginning to realize Edward wouldn't exploit them; he wouldn't use them against her. Teasing her was one thing, but hurting her with them was something he just wasn't capable of doing.

Bella sat for a long time, working through her emotions; allowing them to rule her. The whole time Edward sat patiently, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand.

"Bella, I know something is bothering you."

"Edward, you don't know me."

"That didn't come out right. I know you have a past that bothers you. I know you are hiding from it, or hiding it from everyone else. Just don't push me away."

"You?"

"Us, I meant us." Edward stumbled over his words.

Bella paused and felt unsure what to think. This wasn't the Edward she had become accustomed to. He had faltered, backtracked. He wasn't sure about himself. She felt he was human, flawed.

"I have large shoulders. I can be someone you can lean on when you need to." Edward whispered as he cupped her face in his hand.

Bella looked up into his eyes and knew he was being honest with her. She reached up and ran her fingers down his jaw line. She wished, silently, that she had met someone like Edward years ago.

She let go, wondering what it could've been like. She raised herself and slowly moved towards him. She traced her lips across his, just letting him know that she understood what he had offered. She wanted him to realize that when ready, she would come to him.

As Bella pulled back she noticed Edward stayed perfectly still. He looked with wonder into her eyes. Slowly he reached up and pulled her back towards him. She looked down, trying to avoid eye contact with him. He wrapped his arms around her and sank his face into her hair.

Bella sighed, content with the feeling that was settling over her. It was strange for her, an unknown emotion. Her body was saying 'yes' but her inner voice was screaming 'no'. She wanted something that she really didn't understand, but she was beginning to realize that she might be able to find a way to accept it.

Edward pushed her back and waited. She slowly looked up into his eyes. There was a soft determination that seemed to see straight into her soul. "I only want to be there for you. I hate this constant back and forth between us. I hate that you hate me so much."

Bella softly replied, "I don't hate you."

"If you don't hate me, why won't you let me in?" Edward countered with such tenderness.

Taking a deep breath, Bella decided that the truth was the only thing she could give him. "You really are dumb, aren't you, Creep? You don't even realize that you _are_ in."

The look in Edward's eyes spoke volumes, but still showed signs of confusion.

Bella continued, "You're not going to like what you see."

"Shouldn't that be for me to decide? I feel this pull towards you. I can't let it go. I don't want to let it go. I have the right to decide if I want the good as well as the bad."

Bella shook her head. She couldn't allow him to get hurt. "No, I can't do this to you."

"Please. I don't want you to shut me out anymore. You need a friend and I want to be that friend, Bella." Edward pleaded.

Bella continued to shake her head. "I can't...I...please...don't..."

Edward enveloped her in his arms. "Don't do this, Pet. Don't push me away. Let it go. The past can't hurt you. I'll accept it. I can handle anything you throw at me."

"Ed...ple..." Bella was stumbling over her words. She was shaking so bad. She wanted this but it scared her.

"Just let me be there, Pet. Let me help." Edward replied, kissing her forehead.

The sound of an approaching vehicle broke the moment. Bella was grateful for Emmett's timing. This was too real, too strange for her. She needed time to figure it all out. She couldn't decide how she felt about anything in a matter of minutes.

Edward's face went through a range of emotions. When he looked down at Bella, she saw disappointment. She wasn't sure if he was disappointed with her, or because their time together was over.

She got her answer as Edward looked in Emmett's direction. 'God, if looks could kill.'

Emmett looked back and forth between Bella and Edward. He jumped out of the Jeep, hurrying to Bella's side. "What the hell did he do to you, little one?"

"Nothing, Emmett. I'm fine." Bella replied as she walked away from the two of them.

"I'll kill him." Emmett commented from behind her.

"Things were going fine until you arrived." Edward shot at Emmett.

"Doesn't look like she's fine, Edward." Emmett's anger was so prominent in his voice.

"Emmett, please. He didn't do anything wrong. I...I just...I can't explain it. Just take me back." Bella was tired of thinking, trying to understand any of this. It seemed so right but yet so wrong.

Bella turned to see if Emmett would just let it go and noticed the look that the boys exchanged. They both seemed lost. She couldn't make sense of any of it and she didn't have the strength to try. She was so exhausted that she fell asleep moments after climbing into the Jeep.

**I realize this is another short chapter. There is a method to my madness. I ask you to have faith. This is one of my favorite chapters and I hope it will be yours.**

**Let me know what you think, good or bad.**

**Rec'd:**

**Because of a Boy by Cutestkidsmom. OMG, it's the most touching story I've read in such a long time.**


	10. Acception

**ACCEPTION**

**HAPPY PREMIERE WEEK OF BD2. BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.**

**Much love to my girls, J7 at JUF. You make my world complete.**

**To my pre-reader, JT aka MissJude. You are my rock and my salvation.**

**To my beta, Sunflower3759. I never realized I was walking in the dark till you pulled me into the light.**

**I want to apologize for taking so long to post this chapter. With the premiere of Breaking Dawn 2 and issues in RL, it's been a long week.**

**Something went wrong in the posting process. This is now a reposted chapter, any mistakes are mine not those of my pre-reader or beta.**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I only use them for my therapy.**

~ANL~

It had been over a week since the failed motorcycle trip had taken place. Bella had done everything within her power to keep her mind on her present situation and deal with work and the family. She did her best to keep her mind off of Edward and what had happened. He was a weakness that she didn't need.

Edward had been hiding from her. Well, hiding wasn't the right word for it. He continued to make himself available for her, but, at the same time, gave her the space she desperately needed.

Bella had so much to think about. So many things in her life weren't as black and white as she had thought. She always believed that men were to be feared. That secrets were best kept behind lock and key. Everything was now upside down in her life. She needed to figure things out, to figure Edward out. She was so confused and that was only distracting her from her job.

The woman at the end of the counter cleared her throat. She had been in every day for the past three days. Since this was a small town, that fact should not be considered out of the ordinary. Unfortunately, this woman didn't scream ordinary. Bella sighed and grabbed a coffee pot.

Normally, Bella wouldn't even think about using violence against anyone But for some reason she was willing to introduce her to the palm of her hand.

Cynthia had been sick so both Alice and Jasper had taken the last few days off. Thanks to that, Bella didn't have anyone she could ask about this strange woman who showed up every day.

"Excuse me. I want more of that swill you call coffee." The woman snarled as she cleared her throat again.

"Coming right up, ma'am." Bella replied. She walked down the counter as slowly as she could. Hopefully, she would be able to irritate the woman into never coming back.

"Considering how long it takes to get a cup of coffee, I wonder how long it would take you to snail pace yourself over there and get me a muffin." Obviously, the woman had other waved her hand in the direction of the muffins, as if to exaggerate the fact that Bella wasn't capable of simple tasks.

Bella had been dealing with the same attitude for too long. "If you don't like the service here, why don't you go spend your money elsewhere?"

"Excuse me? How dare you speak to a customer in such a rude and disgusting manner. I want to see the manager."

"Well, you're looking at her. So what's your issue this time, Leah?" Alice's voice chimed as she walked into the shop.

"Alice, love. You look wonderful. How's the new baby?" The woman's voice became warm and inviting.

Bella did a double take. How was it possible for a spiteful snake to blossom into a such a rose? Her evil attitude was a distant memory.

"Oh, please, Leah. You can't do that split-personality on me. I wasn't born yesterday."

"I don't know what you mean, Alice. I'm the same person I always have been. I only wonder what this town has come down to. There certainly must be better help you could find. This woman has been extremely rude and disrespectful to me since I walked in."

"Leah, the only rude and disrespectful excuse for a woman sits on a stool of a shop she was told to stay away from. Now, what do you want?"

"A cup of coffee from a competent employee."

"I do believe we have what you call a 'competent employee' for you, Leah. I hope he meets all your expectations." Alice responded with a wink at Bella. She turned and called into the kitchen. "Seth, could you take over for Bella for a little while, please?"

The newest employee Alice had hired came bouncing from the back. The smile on his face dropped as he looked at Leah. Leah looked like she had been placed in the middle of a terrifying nightmare.

Alice gave Seth a quick hug. "Remember what we discussed, okay?"

Seth looked back and forth between Leah and Alice. Quietly he replied, "Okay."

Alice walked to the other end of the counter, pulling Bella with her. Bella watched the scene unfold before her. Leah had daggers shooting from her eyes and poor Seth was dying a slow and painful death.

"Alice?"

"Mmmm." Alice hummed.

"What's going on?"

"You and I are gonna talk."

"No, not that. What's the scoop between those two?"

"I thought you weren't interested in gossip and all that?" Alice chuckled.

Bella glared at Alice. "When it comes to a business that a certain hell-pixie left me in charge of, yes it does."

"Okay, okay. Seth is Leah's younger brother. Their father died earlier this year and their mother, Sue, is barely holding it together. She needed help and Seth showed up here looking for a job. As you've seen, he's an awesome kid and a hard worker.

Sue and Seth didn't tell Leah since they knew she'd react like this. She considers work beneath her. She thinks she and her family should sail through life."

Bella was confused. "Why?"

"Harry, her dad, was a big man on the council down on the reserve. She thinks that makes them royalty."

"So, that explains the attitude." Bella said, looking over at Seth. She worried that he was going to be forced to quit because of his sister.

Alice must have seen the look. "Don't worry, Bella, I've got an agreement with Sue. Seth stays no matter what Leah says or does."

"Okay." Bella wasn't convinced but did trust Alice. "Does Leah treat everyone with such evilness?"

Alice didn't say anything at first. Bella looked back to her and could see she was contemplating her answer. "Alice?"

"Bella, listen. Leah believes she deserves the best in life without working for it. She'll do whatever it takes to achieve that."

"Why do I feel there's more to this than you're telling me."

"When I first met Leah, she was sweet and kind. Everything any man would scream for. She got her paws dug into the most eligible and successful man in town. She was the perfect woman, but like a wolf, her wild side came out in a bad way."

"I feel bad for the guy."

"He got out before anything really bad happened between them. She knows I'll take her down every chance I get." Alice had a look of pain etched on her face.

"Why you? What does any of this have to do with you?"

Alice hung her head. "Because I have this very protective nature when it comes to family."

It took a moment for Bella to put all the information together. Since starting her new life on the run, she had become a quick thinker. "Edward?"

Alice nodded.

"He seems too smart, Alice. How did someone like her get together with someone like him?"

"She's dangerous. She almost had him when she lost it one night. Her self-centered attitude got the better of her. Mom caught her ordering a Porsche online. She had stolen Edward's credit card, so when Leah started her shit about Edward having to look good for his position, Mom lost it. Everyone realized that the gossip that had been spreading was true and everything ended. Leah got the boot and Edward closed himself off."

Bella was beginning to understand more and more about why Edward was so protective of himself and the family. She was sure there was more to the story, and unfortunately, she was now involved in it.

She was involved with Edward and that scared her.

As if Alice had the ability to read her mind, she asked,"Bella, what's going on between you and Edward?"

"We're friends, I guess." Bella wasn't sure what they were. She hadn't even figured that out yet, so how was she suppose to explain it to Alice.

"Listen, Bella. I know you have a past that is holding you back. Edward does too. There's a connection that ties you both together. I know how this will end."

Bella looked at Alice in shock. Had Alice decided that Bella wasn't worthy of being a part of the family? Was it finally time for her to move on?

Alice continued, "I see a happy ever after for both of you. The question I can't answer is whether it's just friendship or if there is something more between you. Something that can grow and flourish. Don't stop considering the possibility Bella, that's all I ask of you."

Bella didn't have a chance to respond. Leah was storming out of the shop, cursing under her breath. "Got to go, Alice. Seems _Miss Thing _left a trail of unhappy customers in her wake."

~ANL~

Bella and Edward continued to talk over the next couple of weeks. He had stuck true to his word. He hadn't pushed her for anything. He had been a shoulder for Bella, but she continued to refuse it. She thought she wasn't ready. Alice had given her so much more to think about. She was more concerned about the path her life was on, and if it was safe to walk that path with anyone else.

Edward found Bella out in the backyard enjoying what seemed like one of the last days of warm weather. Fall was setting in and changing the colors of the world. The warm tones of reds, browns and oranges comforted Bella.

"You look lost, Pet."

Bella smiled. "Hey, Creep. Thought you had to work."

"Well, I did, but Carlisle decided I needed a break." Edward replied, sitting with her. His arm touching hers as he lowered himself to the grass.

The warm tingle that traveled up her arm made Bella feel calm. Her thoughts became easy and relaxed with him near her. "Edward, how long have you and Rosalie been with the Cullens?"

"We were placed with them when I was ten. That would've made Rosalie eight. They adopted us two years later." Edward answered. The look on his face was tight.

"Can I ask why?" Bella realized she needed to tread lightly about Edward's childhood. Deep down she felt she knew the reason**, **but couldn't exactly put her finger on it.

"Our childhood wasn't exactly happy. Esme and Carlisle had a hard time with us when we first arrived. I loved them right from the beginning. I acted out a little though. You know, being a child, I had to test the boundaries. I didn't want to stay somewhere that wasn't safe for Rose."

Bella knew she wasn't getting specific information. There was something in Edward's words that Bella understood. Rosalie had a story that was hers to tell. Edward wouldn't betray her by speaking about it.

Edward continued. "It took a long time for Rose to open up to them and she still holds out for the other shoe to drop, even all these years later. Emmett is just what she needed. He's strong, not just physically. He's strong mentally, and he's been the rock she always needed."

"And you?" Bella tested the limits again.

"I love the family and refuse to see any of them hurt by anyone. I'll protect them even if I have to sacrifice my happiness to do so." Edward said softly.

He almost sounded sad**,** but satisfied with his answer. She understood from the Leah conversation that Edward would do anything for them. Bella wondered if someday she would have to step up and protect them. Someday 'he' would appear, and she would have to inadvertently hurt them. She would be forced to leave. But for now, she would protect them from herself and the pain she would eventually cause them.

She was curious about everything that was slowly forming between her and Edward. But that curiosity could turn her into a different type of Leah. She couldn't live with herself it that happened.

Bella suddenly had an epiphany. Was it possible that Edward was hanging off her, learning about her, getting close to her, so he could protect the family from her. Maybe Edward and Rosalie's overprotective nature gave them some insight that the rest of the family didn't have. Maybe Edward's behavior was meant to keep her at arm's length.

Bella's inner voice screamed that it all made sense, but her thoughts kept betraying her. Why would Edward want this friendship with her especially when it came on her terms? Why would he sense that the family needed to be protected from her?

Her inner voice was screaming the answers as quickly as her thoughts were asking them. To keep her close, find out all her secrets. Because he and Rosalie had a rough childhood, Edward would be able to sense something was off. Bella hadn't covered herself or her tracks well enough. As much as she wanted to hide her past, to keep it a secret, she didn't think it was a possibility anymore. Her past was there following her wherever she was going, and maybe, just maybe, it was time to let it go.

As much as she didn't want to hurt Edward, she wanted to find out where this friendship could lead. Was it possible to heal and move on from her past? Bella decided that she was going to allow him a glimpse of who she was. She would allow him to decide if he really wanted the hardship and horror that made up the package that was her life. Maybe it was time to start trusting in someone beside herself.

Bella and Edward spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing and enjoying each other's company. Nothing was said about the past, they only talked about the present. Nothing was said about the possibility of a relationship between them, but Bella knew it was time for her to make decisions. Good or bad, she refused to let her past scare her away from something that was worth exploring.

Bella felt like she was missing out on something wonderful in her life. Besides, she liked his presence after all.

**Rec'd:**

**So how many of you got chills over the twist at the end of BD2? If it excited you and made you jump out of your seat then I'll let you know about a story that you really want to read.**

**Worlds Divided. It's a collaboration that was written by Merkle and I a few years ago around the time the screenplay/script was finished for BD2.**


	11. Renewal

**RENEWAL**

**Thank you to everyone for the reviews, favorites and rec'd. This story is my baby I feel privileged to share it with you.**

**Huge screams for my two partners, JT, my pre-reader, and Sunflower3759, my beta. Both of these beautiful women make my story complete and push me to be so much more than I am.**

**PS: No hints on where Edward was taking Bella. That surprise will be mine and mine alone till its time.**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I only use them for my therapy.**

~ANL~

Bella was sitting in the study, thanks to the rain. She continued to think back about the bike ride with Edward. She still wondered where they had been going. She had asked continuously but Edward continued to avoid answering. The only information she had gotten was that it was a special place for him.

She looked up from her book and watched a trail of rain run down the window. The weather had begun to change. Winter was quickly setting in. The rain would soon change to snow. Bella wasn't completely comfortable with that notion.

Bad things always happened during the winter. Being naturally clumsily was hard enough, but the cold and wet caused new issues. Bella's past would be harder to hide if Edward or Carlisle wanted to check her over if she fell or broke a bone.

In her old life, Bella could've fallen due to some slippery ice or loose snow and not had anyone around to check her out. Here, however, there were too many people in this family that would run to her rescue and want to check her over. If they did that, any of them could find the scars or mended bones that were permanent reminds of her old life. She had received Alice's continued promise of privacy, but her scars would speak for themselves and there would no privacy there.

Bella saw a movement out of the corner of her eye. She knew her moment of solitude was over for now. "Hello, Creep."

Edward sighed. "Will I ever be able to sneak up on you?"

"Are you kidding me? You've pulled off the impossible before. Why start doubting yourself now?" Bella narrowed her eyes as she turned towards him. She knew there was a double meaning behind her words but she wasn't sure he had.

Edward walked over and sat on the window sill beside the chair. "Pet, you and I have done the impossible in more ways than you know. I really think we can do so much together too."

Bella looked into Edward's eyes and decided now was as good a time as any to try. "Listen, Creep, I would like..." She didn't know how to say the words; she had never spoken them before.

Edward must have sensed that something was weighing Bella down. He reached over and took her tiny hand in his, running his thumb over the back. "Bella? It's okay. Just let it out." He smiled at her patiently.

Bella sighed, trying desperately to calm her nerves. "I...I want to try more with you." There she said it. Finally.

Edward's look of shock sent Bella into a tailspin. Maybe she had him all wrong. Maybe he hadn't been looking for what she had thought.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I've made a mistake. I'm sorry. Forget I said anything." Bella blubbered as she looked down, pulling her hand from his. Her heart was beating out of her chest. She had gone and ruined everything.

Edward chuckled causing Bella's face to turn shades of red. He was laughing at her. He found this all amusing. She had made a complete fool of herself.

Edward cupped her chin in his hand, pulling her up to look at him. Her eyes continued to look down. She couldn't look at him. She couldn't look at the humor that he was getting at her expense.

Bella felt her face being pulled gently forward. She turned her eyes up, meeting his. What she saw was something she had never seen before. She wasn't sure how to describe this foreign look. Desire? Want? Longing? Need?

Edward continued to pull her closer. His face just a breath away from hers. She was panting so hard from the feelings this unknown moment. She had never felt anything like this before. It felt good, way too good.

As Edward's lips brushed against hers, Bella's mind exploded in sparks of bright colors. The feeling of his lips over hers was overwhelming. Her body tingled and blazed with a need, a desire she had never known.

Her hand ran up Edward's arm, testing the waters of this uncharted territory. Edward pushed his lips tighter to hers as his hands slipping gingerly around her body. He pulled her into him, cradling her protectively. His soft lips parted and his tongue grazed over her lower lip. He was gently and patient.

Bella felt the emotions pushing her forward. She parted her lips, connecting them inside their own bubble. Savoring his taste and craving more, she wrapped her hands around his chest, drawing Edward to her. She could feel him, smell him and taste him. She was suddenly hungry for so much more than this.

Time felt like it had come to a stop. Everything ceased to exist. Everything was perfect within those few moments. Edward's hand moved up to cup her face, softly running his fingers across her cheek.

Bella felt happy for the first time in her life. She felt it could be possible to have a future of joy and love, and he wanted it so bad.

~ANL~

Bella stepped out of her room and into the hallway. She had been walking around the house for the past two days wrapped up in a cocoon of bliss and content.

Bella peeked down the hallway and smiled. Sitting on the stairs as if he had read her mind, knowing exactly when she would emerge, Edward waited patiently. She looked at him and she blushed, he was beautiful and everything she could ask for.

He was looking at her like she was the only person that existed on this earth. The smile that was painted on his face was breathtaking. Bella questioned, as she always did, if that smile had broken a few hearts in the past. _Probably._ She shook her head and willed her mind and body to move forward.

Edward pushed himself off the stairs and moved forward to meet her. He cradled her face in his hands and kissed her on the forehead. He lingered there for a moment and breathed.

"Good morning, Pet." he said softly.

"Good morning, Creep." she replied with a short chuckle.

"You have to find a new name for me you know." He demanded with a grin on his face.

"Someday when I feel you deserve it." She smiles mockingly.

Edward lifted his face to hers. He knew she didn't mean it. This would be a game they would play for the rest of their lives and both were happy to do so.

Somehow he was becoming her world. She was treading in uncharted territory and Edward understood this,and was willing to take it all at her pace. He let go of her face and turned towards the stairs.

Bella reached out and placed her hand on his arm, feeling the welcome sparks that tingled between them. Sliding her hand down, she entwined her fingers in his. He looked first at their hands and then directly into her eyes. Silently, he asked if she was sure. If she was truly ready to let everyone know how much their friendship had progressed.

Bella paused for a moment. There was nothing physical between them. His morning kiss was all there was. She had told him how physical contact made her uncomfortable and he had agreed to let her make the first steps.

She knew how she was feeling about him now. She was certain that she could move forward and take the next big leap into the unknown. To most people it would mean nothing,but to her it meant everything. It meant that she was feeling secure and safe. It meant she felt more comfortable around him and wanted to lower her 'shield', just enough to give him access to find some of the 'good and bad' she had inside.

She hadn't been lying to him when she had admitted that he had gotten in. He was in her heart and her soul. Somehow, this man, this beautiful man, had made her rethink her life and everything she thought she knew. He was offering her so much more; a new life, a new beginning.

All Bella could do was nod. She was scared to death. Her words would've shown her uncertainty, but she knew this was what she wanted. She was ready to tell the family about how they felt for each other.

Edward's smile stretched across his face, as if he had seen sunshine for the first time. He squeezed her hand, and pulled it up to his lips as they walked down the stairs.

The moment they walked into the kitchen, Bella saw what was coming. Alice looked at Bella to say good morning and her eyes immediately scanned down at their joined hands. She started bouncing up and down. She was too excited for Bella and Edward.

"Alice, give me the baby." Jasper said with a defiant tone.

Alice paused and handed Cynthia carefully over to Jasper, cradling her neck. The baby was a beautiful mixture of her parents. She had Jasper's eyes, hair and personality but everything else about her screamed Alice. She was a happy, joyful, bubbly baby that brought life to the house.

Bella had just enough time to brace herself for the little sprite's onslaught. Alice practically flew across the room straight into Bella. Alice knew how Bella felt about the physical contact. That, however, had never seemed to stop her. Alice was Alice and she was going to hug people when she felt they needed or deserved it. Basically, Alice had told Bella to 'suck it up', but in a sisterly type of way.

"We need to talk now, sissy."

Bella groaned at the nickname Alice had given her. "Am I allowed to eat first? I wouldn't want to waste away to nothing you know." She was trying to find a quick way out of the impending doom.

Alice's faced dropped a little. "Fine, but you won't be escaping from me. We are going to talk _today_." Alice always had her way.

Bella looked over Alice's shoulder. Edward had snuck his way past Alice and was pouring two cups of coffee. She silently pleaded with him to save her.

As Edward opened his mouth to speak, Alice said without breaking contact with Bella, "Edward. Don't. Say. A. Word."

Edward closed his mouth. Even with Alice's back to him, she had sensed what was coming. He shook his head and looked sympathetically at Bella and mouthed the words 'I'm so sorry'.

Bella fell defeated into the chair. Edward set the coffee down in front of her before taking the seat beside her. She knew that this talk would've come sooner or later, although, she would have preferred a third option. Never. Since the beginning of all this, Alice was the one thing Bella had been certain of. Suddenly too nervous to eat, she only drank her coffee, no sugar no milk.

She knew there would be questions, uncomfortable questions. She wasn't sure she would have the answers. She wasn't sure Alice really wanted to hear the answers. She wasn't sure where all this with Edward would lead. But there were bound to be questions about her past. This was a tight family after all. Bella knew she would never be ready to answer those questions.

Under the table, Edward reached out his hand and waited. He didn't push for Bella to accept it. He wasn't demanding or forcing her to. He was offering it in silent support. He knew deep down that this was going to be a rough day for her. Gently she took it and he squeezed it reassuringly. She felt better already.

**I have decided to start posting this story every Saturday. The reason, ****I have 3 stories on the go. This one is sort of pre-written. Life by Choice is written chapter by chapter due to its uniqueness. A new story which will be a set of one-shots. With everything going on in RL, I need the time to work on each story and post the love they each desire. Thank you for understanding.**

**Rec'd:**

**Mud, Sweat & Beers by SparrowNotes24. What can I say besides, Edward, Jasper and Emmett in uniform. OMFG!**

\/

**This was the message I got back from my pre-reader, MissJude aka JT. I had a smile plastered on my face for hours.**

**I LOVE IT SO MUCH**


	12. Bonded

**BONDED**

**JT, my pre-reader, my friend, my soul and my unsung hero. What can I say? I love you.**

**Sunflower3759, my magnificently patient beta. You are my salvation.**

**To my awesome friends at JUF. Girls, I love living in our insane world.**

**Author's Note: I mentioned this last chapter but I just want to remind everyone that the new posting date will be Saturdays.**

**I love you all for your encouragement and love for Bella.**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I use them only for therapy.**

**WARNING: THERE MAY BE TRIGGERS IN THIS CHAPTER FOR SOME PEOPLE.**

~ANL~

Bella had been locked up in her room for a few hours. Edward had noticed that something was off. He had given her the space she needed and for that she had been very grateful.

Bella wasn't sure how this conversation with Alice was going to go. There would be questions; hard questions, and the answers were going to be even harder for her. She had been trying to put her past behind her, but today she knew she would have to face it again.

This life was a new beginning for her. Her secrets had been buried. Unfortunately, as much as she wanted them to be dead, the family had a right to know what they were asking for.

Bella had tried to leave the sanctuary of her room twice. Each had been a epic fail. Her fear had begun to take control again. She looked out the bedroom window as Alice laid out a blanket. She shook her head wondering what Alice had been thinking.

It was late fall, a chill in the air, and Alice wanted a picnic setting for their conversation.

As if sensing, Alice looked up and saw Bella staring at her. She waved her hand, telling her to come down and meet her doom. Bella turned from the window. This was the defining moment; the one that would leave her deciding her next step.

Would she still be here this evening, enjoying the warmth and solitude of her room? Or, would she be packing her stuff, walking out the door and out of Edward's perfect life? This conversation was obviously bringing a lot of _uncertainty_ as of how the day would end but it was a necessity. She had to face her.

~ANL~

Bella shivered as she walked through the backyard. Alice was sitting on the blanket, holding a steaming cup in her hands. At some point, Rosalie had arrived and was staring Bella down.

Rosalie had made it clear from the beginning that Bella was a stranger and not to be trusted. That had been Bella's fault. Trying to leave in the beginning had given Rosalie an impression of who Bella was. Why wouldn't Edward's sister want to be part of this showdown?

Rosalie would have a large investment in Edward's happiness. Maybe that would be a good thing. If there was a slim chance that Bella was able to stay, Rosalie would be the key. Her reaction would make or break Bella's decision.

Bella thought about what Edward had told her about his and Rosalie's past, and how they had ended up living with the Cullens. Maybe she would be understanding. Maybe she would be a referee for Bella. Rosalie had a past she didn't talk about, just like Bella did. Was it possible to depend on her to avoid answering some of the questions?

Rosalie and Bella had a little bit of an understanding. They weren't the best of anything, but they knew where they stood with each other. Bella envisioned their relationship to standing on the edge of a cliff, high on a tall mountain; one small gust of wind and someone was going over the side.

Bella accepted a mug of tea from Alice. It was funny, Alice owning a coffee shop but she only drank tea. She leaned against the tree at the edge of the blanket, slid down its trunk and pulled her legs up in front of her. This gave her a sense of security. This also gave her a view of the house so she would know if anyone was approaching.

This gesture didn't go unnoticed by Rosalie. She gave Bella a knowing glare. Bella hung her head, unable to meet the stare.

The three women sat in uncomfortable silence till Alice broke the ice. "So, what's going on between you two?"

Easy questions first, Bella assumed. "What you see is all there is." She didn't want to elaborate.

"That's not much of an answer." Rosalie accused.

"I really don't know yet. Edward and I have an understanding. We're taking it slow. He's agreed, on my terms, to let me make the first steps. Where that path ultimately leads is still unknown."

"Are you two going together?"

"I guess that would be a yes."

Alice squealed in joy. "I knew you two would make the perfect couple." The smile on Alice face was radiant.

"Alice, I don't know if we're a couple but I know we're not perfect." Bella countered "I know Edward's playing safe with me and he should. He's cautious around me but pushes me too. It's like he's testing me."

"Okay, next question. How far has this gone?"

"What?" Bella asked confused.

"Are you two having sex?" Alice asked with a straight face.

"NO!" Bella answered with a deep crimson blush. "I just don't want to make another mistake."

She mentally smacked her head for making a huge blunder. Either they hadn't caught her words or chose to ignore it. Bella needed to be a little more cautious _with what she said_.

"You wouldn't be making a mistake. Edward cares for you, I see it in his eyes. The way he looks at you, the way he speaks about you, the way he lights up when you walk into the room." Alice responded. "He is serious when it comes to you, he wants it, he wants you."

Bella listened intently to what Alice had said, and she thought that so far the conversation wasn't turning into the nightmare she thought it would be. Maybe there might be a way to salvage this new life so hoped she could have.

"Okay, enough of the small talk." Rosalie said bluntly. "I want the story. I think as Edward's sister I deserve to know the woman he is involving himself with."

Bella looked in shock at Rosalie. Busted! She wasn't getting away easy. Rosalie was turning into the bitch Bella assumed she was. She was going to push until Bella had no choice but to tell them everything. She was going to have to leave. Her stay had just been terminated.

Bella looked down at her feet. She, suddenly, realized she was still an outsider looking in at this perfect family. She didn't know them as well as she had thought. She had not perfected her read on people. No matter what she did or where she went she would always have to move on.

As if Rosalie knew what Bella was thinking she said in a soft tone, "Bella, I'm not a stupid person so don't try and play me for one."

Bella looked up, opened and closed her mouth. She just couldn't say anything that would be good enough to secure herself a place in this life that she was desperately beginning to want.

Rosalie continued. "I've seen someone like you before."

Bella raised her eyes. "What do you mean?"

Bella watched Rosalie's body stiffen. She took a deep breath and began to explain. "I was that person when I was eight years old. I was in the same position, I know how it feels right now for you."

Bella was confused. A child couldn't be someone like her. Bella thought about her past. Maybe Rosalie was right. Bella was the same now as she was as a child, nothing had changed.

"When I first arrived here, I wanted to shut everyone and everything out. I wanted to be left alone. Over time, my defenses started to crack and I felt safe with the Cullens and they became my family." Rosalie continued.

Bella was now staring directly into Rosalie's eyes. There was something there, something familiar in her eyes. It was the same pain that Bella knew all too well, and she could relate to her.

"Carlisle and Esme realized that you were me all over again. We've all been giving you your space, not just because you asked for it, but because they asked us to. They know what you are going through and they're ready to help and support you."

Bella was stunned. How they had figured her out? What did they know? What did they suspect?

Rosalie continued, "Bella, I want to tell you my story. I want you to understand what you're doing to all of us. When I was three my mother died in a terrible accident and my father blamed Edward and me."

Bella felt her heart break into a million pieces. The tears were welling up in her eyes, and she didn't know how long she was going to be able to hold them back.

"I received beatings from a man who was suppose to love and care for me. But, I would've taking the beatings if that had been the only pain he gave me. He needed control over me, and never could figure out why."

Bella was feeling a weight pushing down on her. Rosalie knows, she understands.

Rosalie took a deep breath, wiping a tear that had slid down her face. What she was about to say was a difficult part of her past. "He started raping me when I was about five, and it continued for three years. The last time I saw my father was the day Social Services stormed into the house and took Edward and me away."

Bella silently thought about her past. Was Rosalie blamed for breaking up the family? Did Edward blame her?

"When we came here, I was terrible. Carlisle and Esme would find me hiding in the closet. I kept trying to run away. I was a child who waited for the next bad thing to happen. I didn't understand that my temper tantrums were due to what my father had done to me. For a long time I feel unworthy and frightened and I was terrified of Carlisle or any man in general."

Bella allowed the tears to flow down her cheeks. She felt Rosalie's pain. She knew it all too well. It was the same pattern. She had been through the same thing.

"For a long time, I thought love and pain were equal and entwined with each other. Sometimes I still think that way. But I always move forward thanks to my new family. The Cullens have shown me that there were other ways in this world, and not all people are bad. They're patient and understanding with me, I've come to love and protect them."

Bella was in awe with this woman. She wanted to be like Rosalie, a fighter, strong.

"They continue to show me every day that they love me and will protect me from any danger, and that I don't have to always expect that the bad times will begin again."

Bella sat shocked. There were no words she could say. Rosalie understood, somehow, she knew that they did have a bond. Something that would transcend time and space. Bella needed Rosalie. She needed her to guide her.

She knew it was now or never, she needed to know if there was a chance of having what Rosalie had. Slowly, she lowered her legs and crawled closer. Feeling like a child needing a mother's protection, Bella fell into Rosalie's arms. She lowered her defenses, confident that she would be protected. She cried as Rosalie held her and it felt good. For once, she felt like she had support, a shoulder to rely one.

"I know you're hurting. Bella, you have to trust that we'll love and protect you, just like Mom and Dad did for Edward and Rosalie." Alice said, with love and compassion in her voice as she laid her hand gently on Bella's back. "You're part of this family now and we protect family."

Bella looked up into Alice's eyes. There was no deception. She knew things would be different. She knew in her heart she could finally find the true happiness she had been searching for her whole life.

Why had it taken so long? Why had she gone through so much to find it? Was this how it was meant to be? She was sure she had found it now...a family...with the Cullens.

**Rec'd:**

**Salacious by Cutestkidsmom. The best comment I can find to summarize this story is "What would you attempt to do it you knew you could not fail?"**


	13. Love

**LOVE**

**So much love to my pre-reader and BFF, JT. You and me against the world, Beautiful.**

**Sunflower3759, my beta, why did it take so long for me to find someone like you?**

**This chapter is dedicated to the very talented and extraordinary people at JUF. ILY all.**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I only use them for my therapy.**

~ANL~

Bella looked up at the ceiling. She felt safe and secure wrapped up in the oversized, warm comforter. She thought back to the emotional roller coaster she had been on yesterday. She was amazed that it didn't go as badly as she thought it would.

There was a bond now between Rosalie and her. For the first time she didn't feel like an outsider. She was someone; she felt like she belonged. She was wanted for all the right reasons. She smiled, a true smile, of happiness.

The three of them had sat in the backyard for quite a while. She'd never been asked to reveal anything about her past. Alice and Rose both firmly believed Edward needed to hear that story first. But together they had talked about everything from world politics to baby Cynthia.

Esme had emerged twice to announce that dinner was ready. Even with the thought of a warm meal to melt the cold that had seeped into their bones, the three of them hadn't moved. They just continued talking.

Long after the sun had set behind the trees surrounding the property and Cynthia's cry for her mother, the girls had made their way into the house. Bella went first to the kitchen in search of the lingering smell of food that was floating through the house.

Bella remembered the worried expression Edward had given her when she entered the kitchen. He cared. He silently wanted to know if she was okay. She had smiled at him reassuringly and he had relaxed a little after that.

She had eaten and then excused herself. She had been mentally exhausted and just needed time to work through everything.

Bella had formed a long lasting friendship with the strongest woman she had ever met. Of course, she couldn't forget about Alice. She was the most protective woman in the world. It was because of them that she now laid in bed feeling renewed and energized.

She truly was ecstatic with the idea that she had found people who she could share her secrets with. They wouldn't judge her, they would understand. They would protect her no matter what the cost. That was the only thing that still frightened her. What would be the cost of their love for her?

Bella silently hoped that her past would never find her. She was part of a family now, and she never wanted the euphoria to ever end. She decided to start the new day with a new sense of pride.

She would become this person she had everyone believing she was. She was going to live and enjoy the excitement of this new experience. For the first time in years, she looked in the mirror and she liked what she saw. She liked what she was becoming.

~ANL~

Bella opened the door to her room and stuck her head around the corner, chuckling. "Morning, Creep."

"Morning, Pet." Edward responded as he stood from his perch on the top of the stairs.

Another daily routine had become something Bella was beginning to cherish. Edward's smile was breathtaking, and had become a symbol of hope for her. She walked into the security of his arms. It felt good, really good.

"So, what would you like to do today?" Edward asked as he kissed her forehead.

Bella pulled back a little putting the top of her head against his chest. She sighed, knowing that at some point she was going to have to do something uncomfortable. "I think we need to talk."

Edward pulled back from her. He ran his hand up her arm, resting his fingers under her chin. He pulled her face up to meet his. "Rosalie told me that you might want to talk."

"I might be asking too much from you. You wanted the 'good with the bad'. I want you to decide on whether we are good for each other."

Edward paused for a moment before speaking. "Do you trust me?"

Now it was Bella's turn to pause. That was a loaded question. Edward was a man, and men were not to be trusted. But, he was also Edward, the rock, the one she was learning to lean on. "Yes." She answered truthfully.

"Bella, I think the time has come for us to try our trip again. I realize now you weren't ready for what I had planned. You didn't believe in yourself enough to trust me. Now, I know that you're ready."

"You're scaring me, Creep. What were you planning?" Bella asked cautiously, stepping back.

"I wanted a chance with you. I thought showing you this place would show you that. I was wrong, it wasn't the right time, you needed to open up to me, not have me forcing you to open up. I want this talk to be a new beginning for us. A chance for us to start our life together without any secrets."

Bella knew Edward was being honest. A confession like that should scare her but now she looked at it as a good thing. He realized he had been wrong. He had waited, but would he have waited forever?

"I want to share this place with you. No one knows about it. I find it a relaxing place to work out any problems I have, and I want it to be a place for us now."

Bella realized no matter what she told him, he was signing up for life. He wasn't letting her go. He wanted something serious with her. She had to lay everything out for him before she could truly let go of her past. She had to do it so he knew what he was getting into.

Bella reached up and slid her hands behind his head. She pulled him slowly down towards her. Looking into his eyes, she grazed her lips across his. They were soft and so inviting.

Edward wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her tighter. He ran his tongue across her lower lip, seeking entrance. She submitted and parted her lips, their tongues touching. His touch was so tender and sweet. Hers was full of need and desire. Her body felt weak as Edward pulled back.

Edward held her steady as he walked her back to her bedroom. "I'm going to get Alice. I want you to wear something special for today. I have some things to do and I want everything to be perfect."

With a quick kiss to her forehead, he turned and headed back down the hallway. He was nearly trampled as the pixie devil raced passed him and straight into Bella's arms.

"I'm in for some torture, aren't I?" Bella asked with a groan.

"Making someone more beautiful than they already are is torture. And making over someone who is already perfection in the eyes of her man is torture. So, I guess the answer would be yes." Alice stated as she pulled Bella into the bedroom and slammed the door.

Bella knew this was a battle she couldn't win. This was going to be a rough morning. This was the last thing she'd been expecting when she had looked in the mirror a few minutes ago.

~ANL~

Alice had put Bella through the _salon of hell_. The hot irons, plucking and shaving hair Bella didn't even know she had, applications of makeup and being stuffed into an outfit that looked much better on a model. Alice had stood back claiming that she was finished. Alice was the happiest girl in the world, very proud of herself.

Bella had taken advantage of the moment and literally ran, screaming, from the room. She was more willing to fight a grizzly bear than ever be put through that type of torture ever again.

As she walked into the garage, Edward turned to greet her. He stopped dead in his tracks. Bella, immediately felt self-conscious, tilted her down, blushing. Edward walked over, placing his hand under her chin. He pulled her face up, making her look straight into his eyes.

"Please, Pet, don't ever be embarrassed. Don't ever doubt how breathtakingly beautiful you are." He said, pulling her close and running his lips across hers.

She smiled while kissing him. She could get used to this, to him being so sweet and ready to do whatever it takes to make her happy again.

Locking her in his arms, he pulled her towards the bike. Bella was horrified. This late in the year, with the roads beginning to ice up, a motorcycle was the last thing she should be attempting.

"Oh no, Creep. I am not getting on that." Bella defiantly stated, pulling away slightly, stamping her foot. She vividly remembered the last time she was in this situation. She couldn't help but smile a little.

"But you have to, Pet." Edward replied after a moment ,,, realizing what Bella was doing. He looked at her with a defiant smile.

"Are you trying to kill me? I don't think Alice would like you too much if you did that. Getting her favorite 'Pet' hurt."

"You're my 'Pet' now. She can find a new stray." Edward replied, winking at her.

Bella laughed. It felt good and natural with him. She knew there was no posessiveness meant in the words. He didn't own her and wasn't insinuating it either. He was just being funny and she liked it.

He swung his leg onto the bike and brought it to life. He turned his head and motioned for Bella to jump on.

She looked at the bike, sighed, and moved towards it. She noticed a backpack behind Edward, and swung it over her shoulder. She sat behind him and immediately felt the difference. She welcomed his closeness this time.

She gladly wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling secure and loved. She took a few deep breath of his scent and already, she felt better about the bike. She tightened her grip as he suddenly lurched forward out of the garage and out of town.

They had turned off of the dirt road outside of town and had made their way over a small dirt trail. As Edward maneuvered his way, Bella could sense he had taken this path before. He had surprised her when he turned off the road.

At first, she hadn't seen the path and anyone driving by wouldn't have either. Bella kept her arms securely around his waist and tucked her head down trying to avoid the trees streaming past them.

After what seemed forever, he started to slow the bike down as they approached 'his' special place. He looked quickly behind him and asked, "Ready?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"With me, always. I'll never force you to do anything or go anywhere you don't want to, Pet."

Bella nodded as they slipped off the bike. He took her hand, pulling her in front of him. He moved his hand and gently placed it over her eyes. She trembled a little and he noticed.

"It's okay, Bella. You are safe here with me." Every time he felt she wasn't sure, he was already reminding her that she didn't need to worry.

He walked her forward. She could feel the coolness of the trees fading and the sun, which had made a wondrous appearance, warming her body. He slowly removed his hand and Bella blinked, opening her eyes to a magical place.

_The meadow was small, perfectly round, and filled with wildflowers—violet, yellow and soft white. Somewhere nearby, she could hear the bubbling music of a stream. The sun was directly overhead, filling the circle with a haze of buttery sunshine. She walked slowly, awestruck, through the soft grass, swaying flowers, and warm, gilded air. _

Bella turned mesmerized by this astonishing world he had brought her to. It was incredible to think that at this time of year, beauty was still in full bloom.

He walked the small distance between them and drew her in, kissing her on her lips. She felt strong and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, touching every spot she could. She reached up to the back of his head and pulled him into her. She kissed him with passion, a need taking over. She wanted this perfect moment to last forever. She wanted him in a way she had never felt before.

When they finally broke, both gasping for air, Edward took the backpack off her shoulders and found a grassy area. The flowers encircled the area but seemed to know where the boundaries were. Edward opened the backpack and pulled out a small blanket big enough for two. Laying it on the ground he motioned to Bella to sit and relax while he finished the preparations.

Bella laid down on the blanket letting the sun warm her body. She felt free and for the first time in a long time she felt free of her burdens, free of her fears and free from her self-doubts. The pain was gone.

When Edward finished unpacking, he laid down beside her, holding himself up on one arm, looking down at her. She looked into his eyes, amazed at how this beautiful place made the color shine so much more vividly. She was happy. She realized at that moment there was no denying the truth. She was in love.

**I used Stephenie Meyer's words to describe the meadow. No one but her could ever do justice to the beauty of that magical place.**

**Rec'd:**

**A Whisper of Chaos by theonlykyla. A story of two troubled teens who find themselves drawn together.**


	14. Truth

******WARNING: YOU WILL WANT TISSUES FOR THIS CHAPTER AND THERE ARE DEFINITE TRIGGERS IN THIS CHAPTER.**

**I received 2 guest reviews. To those people I have a few things I would like to say. **

**1. Be an adult and post as yourself. Allow me to defend myself against your hateful words.**

**2. My story is based on my life. Unfortunately, I didn't grow up with sunshine and roses. My life was real and difficult. Calling my story trash is calling me trash. Not appreciated.**

**3. Anyone who doesn't appreciate what I'm trying to make people aware of and the strength it takes to do the incredible things I've done, leave now.**

**I removed this post early today but am now putting it back up. I will not allow evil to dictate my life any more.**

**TRUTH**

**Jude, you are my rock. I love you for your friendship and love. Forever and always, sister.**

**Sunflower3759, my beta, you plucked me from the shadows and helped me see the light.**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I only use them for my therapy.**

~ANL~

The afternoon had passed more quickly than either Bella or Edward had wanted it to. They had enjoyed a wonderful meal of fried chicken, potato salad and grilled corn. Bella was certain that Esme had helped Edward prepare the food.

They had walked around the boundary of the meadow, enjoying the last flowers that were in bloom. The stream on one end bubbled over the rock and into an unknown area of the forest.

Bella had been preoccupied all day, as her past haunted her. But, Edward had continued to be patient. He had waited for her to decide when the time was right.

Bella knew there was no way to prolong the words she needed to say. Without warning, Bella looked down at her feet and announced in a pained voice, "Edward, I'm married."

Edward stopped dead in his tracks. "You're...married?" The words sounded like poison as they passed over his lips.

She had never been so frightened in her life. When the silence had become too much for her to bear, Bella looked up. She hadn't been prepared for the look on his face.

Edward's face looked fragile like a porcelain doll. He seemed to be lost in his own personal hell and there was nothing at the moment she could do about it.

Bella's torture was the same as his but for different reasons. She never wanted to hurt Edward. He had shown her love and how tender the world could be. She wanted to hold him and tell him she had been lying. That there was no past for either of them to worry about, but she couldn't.

She knew that she couldn't lie to him, she could no longer shut him out. He needed the truth. He needed to know who she was; what made her so frightened of the world. There was a man out there hunting for her. Edward needed to know that no matter what, she would always have to run.

"Is this why you didn't want to be involved with me? You didn't want to be unfaithful? What were you doing all this time, Bella, stringing me along? Did you want to kill me?" He spit at her. His eyes were dark, and filled with hate.

Bella was too shocked to speak. Her mind raced in a million directions. He had misunderstood what she had been trying to tell him. He thought he was being used for what? A fling? Had she not been clear with him how much he meant to her? How could he think so little of her?

No, how could he understand. She hadn't even figured it all out herself. She had never fought to save her life before, she had always accepted life for what it was. Now she wanted to fight for a life that was wonderful and magical. She wanted him and only him and he had to know that she would fight to keep him.

"Edward. Please. You don't understand." Bella begged.

Edward looked at her, his eyes blazing with hurt and torment. She had to make him listen and understand or she would lose him. She couldn't, not now, not like this.

"Please listen to me, you have to hear me out. I need to tell you everything. You have to understand that I love you." Bella pleaded and started to cry uncontrollably.

This had to work. He had to hear her words, he had to know the truth. "I told you that you 'got in'. I warned you there was good and bad, and I have been trying to be good and honest with you but the bad is just that..._bad_. I want you know what the bad is. I want you to decide if you're able to accept me. Accept me and love me despite everything I am."

Edward stared at her. She felt like a frightened child lost in a dark forest. The tears that ran down her face were not for herself or the pain she felt. She cried in fear of losing the only thing good in her life. _Him_.

Edward's body was stiff. His eyes shifted as he tried to decide what to do. Would he listen? Would he allow her to explain? His answer came in the form of a nod, unable to speak.

Bella cautiously took his hand. They walked back to the blanket. As Edward sat down, Bella wasn't sure what she should do. She didn't have enough strength in her to look into his eyes. She couldn't face the emptiness and pain that she knew was there waiting.

She took a deep breath as she settled herself beside Edward. She kept her head down as she decided the only way to make him understand was to start at the beginning.

"My parents met while in high school. From what I was told they loved each other unconditionally. They were true soul mates in every sense of the word. They had barely made it out of school before I was born.

I was only two when my father passed away. Cancer, I think that's what they told me. I really can't be sure since my mother spoke so little about him. She seemed so sad for as far back as I can remember. So alone. That was until she met my step-father.

He came into ours lives like a knight on a white horse. He took us in and made my mother happy. I never remembered having a father so he became one to me. But soon after he and my mother married things changed.

At first it was little things. When he came home from work, supper had to be ready and on the table, hot. I always had to be perfect. Perfectly dressed, perfect marks in school. Nothing in our house was allowed to be out of place. I just thought that's how things were suppose to be.

One day, my mother fell ill and she wasn't able to clean the house or make me look perfect. She was so sick, she didn't have the strength to have his meal ready for when he arrived home that night. He came through the door and was angry. I had never seen anger in my life until that night."

Bella darted her eyes and noticed Edward was in his own world. She didn't know what he was thinking or how much he was hearing.

He opened his mouth to say something, but put her hand gently over it. She had to finish telling him everything and she needed to do it before she lost all her strength mentally, emotionally and physically.

"I remember three things about that night. One, my mother begging me to go to my room, lock the door and stay there no matter what. Two, the rage in my step-father's voice, and three, the terrified screams of my mother as he beat her. I covered my ears. I couldn't bear to hear her screams but they were too loud.

The next day my step-father was calm like nothing had happened. He told me that my mother had gone away because she had been bad and wouldn't be coming home for a while. I found out years later that he had beat her so bad she fell into a coma.

He told me I was now responsible for the house and I was now the mommy. At the time I didn't understand why he said those words the way he did, but I soon found out. One night as I was falling asleep after receiving my nightly beating for not having everything perfect, he came into my room. He said that I was becoming a good mommy and now he wanted to reward me for it.

I thought at first he meant he was no longer going to hurt me but I was wrong. That was the first time he raped me. He told me afterwards that was what mommies and daddies did in private and they never talked about it to anyone. I couldn't sleep the following night, I was so scared that he would come back and he did. Night after night, he came back. He took away the only 'peace' I had.

Even after my mother came home, the rapes continued. He said my mother was not ready to be mommy again to him, and that I had to continue to be the big girl in the house.

Things continued like that for seven years. My mother would go away and I would be left to suffer in silence. One day, my mother never came home. My step-father claimed my mother didn't love me anymore because she knew that he and I were having 'mommy/daddy time' together. He manipulated me, conditioned me.

Once again, I learned years later that my mother had run away from him, and had tried to take me with her. I never found out what happened or why I was left behind and had to continue living with him. I was angry with her. I'm still angry. How could a mother do that to a child? Allow those things to happen?

Once I was in high school and understood better what was happening at home was not _natural, _I starting looking for ways out. I made a couple of friends in high school. One of them took an interest in me, though I couldn't understand why.

By that point, I felt useless and unworthy of anyone's attention. My new friend was nice to me and finally, after some persuading, I told him about my life. He said that he would help to get me out of the house and away from my step-father. I believed him cause, for the first time in my life, I had someone who cared, wanted to protect me."

Bella could see in Edward's face that he was now angry. She knew why, and she knew he was no longer angry at her. Things were starting to come into focus for him. She continued with her story.

"He was two years older than me. As soon as he graduated, he took me from that house. We moved in together, but my step-father's torture didn't stop. He would call and threaten me to come home, and he would follow me around town.

Once he even came to the place we were living at that time and tried to break in. I was told to run and hide in the bedroom, and still to this day I don't know what happened. My stepfather left town about a week later and never contacted or harassed me again. After that my life started to get better. I really thought I was now safe.

Two years later, I got married. There had been a few arguments through those two years, but they weren't anything I thought were that bad. They were little things about the kind of carpet to get, which movie to see, nothing that prepared me for what happened next.

Right after the wedding, my husband turned. I knew he had some anger issues but I would have lived with my stepfather for the rest of my life if I'd known what I know now.

My husband, the man I married, was secretively living, a lie. He was an alcoholic and drug addict. I never saw the signs, not that I would've know what to look for. The first time we fought, really fought, I ended up in the hospital; just like my mother."

Bella removed her jacket and pulled her shirt up so he could see her back. The scar ran from just below her shoulder blade to above her hip. She heard him suck in his breath. She could tell he was angry and sorry at the same time. He reached out and ran his fingers down the scar as if he was trying to make it disappear.

"He threatened me so badly and I agreed to his lie that he had told the staff. I had been clumsy and fallen. For some reason, people you think should recognize the signs of abuse don't, and they believed him.

I snuck out of the hospital and ran to a hotel. He got a call from the front desk clerk. I'd been stupid and used his credit card. Of course, he forced me to go home with him. The yelling was so terrifying in the car, but things got worse when we got home. Since we lived so far out of town, he had no worries about anyone hearing me or me trying to escape. He beat me so bad that I found myself waking up, laying on the ground, in front of the house. He had left me there all night. It was my punishment.

Things only continued to get worse after that. He would rape me on a daily basis. I call it rape since it was only when he was drunk, which was all the time, and it was never consensual. He would beat me during it if I wasn't perfect enough for him.

There were so many times I wished I could just die so everything would be over. He had convinced me that I could never do anything right, and for it I had to be punished. Sometimes it would be a beating with his hands, sometimes it was sticks and sometimes it was a belt. Any part of my body that could be reached with whatever I was being beat with was game for him.. You know about the scars on my head."

She saw Edward nodding his head as he remembered that first morning he had been checking her over. She continued with her story.

"The beatings were better than the rapes. Every day it was something different." She paused embarrassed at what she was about to admit to him. He raised his eyes and took her hand encouraging her to tell him the rest. "Some days he would rape me with his body. Others would be with various objects such as the sticks he beat me with. During all of it, I didn't dare cry or scream. That only encouraged him.

Of course, that didn't work either. He got a thrill about trying to make me cry or scream. I couldn't lessen the pain no matter what I did. He'd make me talk while he was raping me. He found dirty talk exciting. I had to tell him that I enjoyed what he was doing to me. All I really wanted was for it all to be over. I didn't want to feel his body one me, to feel his skin against mine. I was disgusted by the stench of alcohol on his breath. I was sick each and every time he touched me.

About two years ago, I finally managed to sneak out of the house while he was passed out. I had it prepared. I had managed to hide some money. I could've taken his money with me but I didn't want it. I didn't want anything attached to him. One time he found the town I was in. I managed to escape without him realizing how close he'd come to finding me. I've been running ever since. I promised myself I would never let him or any man control me again."

Bella fell silent, as she waited for Edward to respond. He reached over and wrapped his arms around her, pulled her in and cried as hard as she was. She held on to him and let him cry through all the emotions.

She soothed him quietly, letting him take in everything she had told him. She felt a sudden moment of relief. It was like a weight had been lifted off her heart. She knew she could now give herself to him, if he still wanted her.

"Edward. You need to talk to me. I can't read your mind and I want to know what you are thinking." Bella said in a soft voice. She pulled away from him so she could see his eyes. She reached up and wiped a tear that was falling down his perfect face.

Edward looked into Bella's eyes. He took her face gently in his hands as he pulled her towards him and brushed his lips across hers. "I just realized I may never be able to marry you." He kissed her lips softly again. "It would be far too dangerous for you to try to sever those ties with 'him'."

Bella stared at him confused. Then, as if someone had turned on a light she realized what he was saying.

He still wanted her.

He wanted to be with her.

He wanted forever with her.

He loved her.

Her heart soared with joy.

**Author's note: If there is anyone out there going through any type of abuse, I beg you to seek out help. There are organizations out there. I know they are there and can help, I've felt their love and protection.**

**Rec'd:**

**A Whisper of Chaos by theonlykyla. It's a touching story about Bella and Edward and how two souls can help one another through the bad times.**


	15. Understanding

**UNDERSTANDING**

**Huge shout-out to my pre-reader, Jude. You are my BCFF.**

**Sunflower3759, my beta, thank you for everything. You are a truly a miracle.**

**Shout-out to my peeps at JUF. I love every one of you.**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I only use them for my therapy.**

**WARNING: There are triggers and tissue warnings in this chapter.**

~ANL~

Time seemed to stand still as Edward continued to hold Bella. She knew this was a point of no return. Their life together depended on everything that happened in this meadow.

Edward took a deep breath. "Bella, now you need to know my story. You need to know the _bad_ that comes with being with me."

Bella watched the emotions flow over his face like waves crashing against the shore. She knew she was strong enough to hear his story and she was willing to be as patient as he had been with her. She wanted to know why he was the protective, annoying man she had come to love.

"I know Rosalie told you some of the story. There are some things about that story you don't know. Rosalie doesn't have all the facts because I never let her know."

Bella took Edward's hand. Rosalie's story had been heartbreaking. How the hell could it get any worse?

"She dealt with so much because of my father. She's moved on from her past for the most part, she's very defensive and probably always will be. She definitely needs someone like Emmett. He has broad enough shoulders to handle the attitude she dishes out. He's been patient and protective."

Bella let a smile ghost across her lips. Emmett was like the big brother she had never been blessed to have. Someone like him may have made the difference in her life.

"The part I protect Rosalie from knowing about is that she wasn't the only one being beaten." Edward said with a broken tone. He hurt thinking about it, the evidence and pain was clearly painted on his face. "I was supposed to be the only one."

"The first time I saw my father beat Rosalie, I was angry. I wanted better for her, I knew she couldn't endure the torture and pain that came from it. I knew that I needed to be the strong one. I needed to protect her so I told him to beat me. I begged him to leave her alone." The anger in Edward's voice was open and raw. Bella could see it in his eyes the pain he felt as a kid, he could still feel it.

Bella's felt a weight land hard in her gut, as she came to a sudden realization. Edward hadn't been able to protect his little sister, so his protective attitude towards the family had grown from what he saw as his failure. He was trying to repair what he had been unable to do as a kid.

Edward took a cleansing breath and relaxed his body. "After I took on my father, I got beaten on a daily basis. The pain was unbearable, but knowing Rosalie was safe was what pushed me forward. I thought I had found a way to save her from him. I didn't realize how much worse I had made it for her." He took a few seconds to think, rubbing his hand over his forehead. Reliving all these emotions was hard, Bella knew how much pain he was going through.

Bella knew Rosalie had been raped by her father. Edward wanted to protect her. As a child, he truly believed that all the focus had been put on him. Rosalie had been put in the shadows.

"One night, I got dropped off by a friend's mom after baseball practice. The house was dark and quiet. I wasn't sure why, it wasn't normal. I went looking around the house and heard Rosalie crying. I knew she was in her bedroom. The bedroom was open just enough that I could see into the room." Edward's eyes were hazy as he travelled back to his childhood.

Bella knew what he saw. She had experienced first-hand what he had forever embedded in his memory. She brought her hand to his face and forced him to look at her. She needed him to know that she understood.

Edward squeezed her hand, taking strength from her. "I was horrified, Bella. The things my father was doing were so wrong. Rosalie's face was full of pain and terror. She was so scared and her eyes were so dead. I never recognized the signs, but when I saw him raping her, all the pieces fell into place. I realized that everything I had tried to do to protect her, was all for nothing." His voice was rough. He did not want to cry, but the hurt he felt was obvious.

Bella wanted to let him speak, but she felt she had to help him in some way. "You were a child, Edward."

"I know that Bella, but I wanted to save her, I didn't care about me. I thought that I could do it on my own. I wanted to run into that room and protect her but I realized that I didn't have the strength. I felt like shit that I ran. I ran away from her, left her to be destroyed in such an evil way by someone who was suppose protect us. He was the adult, and he should've protected us from the exact horrors that he was committing."

Bella nodded. They were both part of a group who understood the horrors that adults could do to a child...to their own child. It was a group no one ever wants to be a part of. Parents are supposed to protect their children. Children shouldn't have to protect themselves from the parents.

"As I ran, I tried to figure out what to do. I sat on the steps of my school and waited. It was a long and cold night. When the principal arrived that morning, I was shivering so badly. I knew I had to be brave and protect both of us. I told him everything, hoping that there was someone who would believe me. I was terrified I would be called a liar. We were reunited later that day and Rosalie looked like hell. She was so quiet and withdrawn that I hardly recognized her. She just wasn't the sister I knew. She had lost all the innocence of a child."

Bella could imagine what Rosalie looked like, how she felt. The pain and humiliation must have been unbearable. Bella had avoided looking in a mirror for such a long time. She wondered if Rosalie had done the same thing.

It took a few days, before we found ourselves on Carlisle and Esme's doorstep. It took a long time, but they were patient. They handled our outbursts, the anger we both felt. God, they even dealt with our actions like a loving parent should. Their strength was unbelievable. They've continued to show us over and over how love is supposed to be." Edward's voice was soft and kind. His love came through in volumes.

"I decided as time went on that I never wanted to make anyone hate themselves or hate life. It is too precious to be wasted. Love is too precious. I also decided that if I was ever blessed to have a family of my own; a wife and children, they would know only love and devotion. I don't want to be a replica of my father. He showed me everything I don't want to be."

Bella felt her body stiffen. Children. Edward wanted children. Would she ever be able to have a child and show it the love it deserved? Did she have that kind of love? Did she even know how to show that kind of love? She had never witnessed it, she didn't know what it really was like.

Bella knew it was her time to speak. She needed to let him know how he had impacted her life. How his protection of his family had shaped him. She gave him a small smile as she spoke from her heart. "Edward, what you and Rosalie went through was something that shaped you both. The man you are now...I never thought someone like you existed. You're strong, protective, loving and more than that you're loyal." Bella felt the tears fall silently down her cheeks. She needed him to know how wonderful he was. How much she thought of him.

"You are everything to me, Bella. I have found someone who understands me. You understand the shadier side of life. You've fought to survive, and yet you've opened yourself to allow me in. Why? What makes me so special?" Edward asked.

Bella didn't understand why Edward was questioning himself. Why he doubted everything that had begun forming between them. He needed to hear it from her. He was looking for reassurance.

"Bella, what if I can't protect you? I failed my sister and it nearly killed me. What if I fail you too? You deserve so much more than that? I love you so much and I want us to have a life together, but am I the right person for you?"

"I think you needed to go through all the bad in your life so you could be the man in front of me now. As terrible as it is, Rosalie had to go through it too. She and Emmett need each other. We're all shaped by our childhood, so we are prepared for the person we need in our life. I understand that now. You have shown me there is good in this world. You're what I need in my life. You show me more and more every day who you are. You're my protector and my friend, no matter how irritating you can be." Bella giggled, seeing the smile creep across his lips. A shy smile was making its way across her lips too. She was so happy to finally be able to feel love for the first time. "But, most of all, Edward, you are my life now. Where you go, I will follow."

Edward pulled her into his arms and held her protectively. Bella felt warm and secure with him wrapped around her. She tilted her head up, feathering his lips with her own. He pushed in and connected them. His tongue slipped out and caressed her lower lip. He sought permission and Bella gave it willingly. She parted her lips, linking their tongues. She tasted him, savored him, he pushed into her, kissing her with passion. Bella knew what he wanted. She needed and wanted the same. She had waited her whole life for someone to love her, to show her how a woman should be loved. She responded the passion, believing in what they shared.

When the need for air had reached its peak, they pulled back, breathing heavily. Bella placed her head against Edward's chest feeling his heart pounding and smiled. She was happy, deliriously happy.

Edward spoke in a hushed voice, "Bella Swan, I promise to protect and love you forever. I'll never let anything bad happen to you."

Bella's body stiffened once again. She felt the fear slowly rising within her. "Edward, please don't."

Edward released her, looking down into her eyes as Bella put her hand on his cheek. "I love you and want to be with you always. However, please don't promise me anything. There is still evil in this world that will try to find its way into our lives. Please don't make me any promises; just show me how much you love and want to protect me."

The realization was written clearly on Edward's face and Bella felt she could continue. "We take everything else one day at a time. If we come to an agreement that the bad can't touch us anymore, then, and only then, can you promise me the rest."

Edward sat still, his eyes shifting as he thought it all through. He leaned in and placed a delicate kiss on her forehead. "I can live with that...for now."

**Happy holidays, everyone.**

**To my friends and family, you are a joy and an inspiration in my life. Through good and bad you have accepted me and my failings. I love you all more than words could ever express.**

**To my readers, fans, followers and silent stalkers, I cherish each and every one of you. You make my day complete when I find your love in my email or the traffic numbers jump in record number. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.**

**Rec'd:**

**Under My Skin by MissJude. This is her first fanfiction story. Anyone who loves a tattoo'd Edward will fall deeper in love with him now. **


	16. Plans

**Plans**

**Come join my FB group at... groups/AliceVampire**

**Huge shout-out to my pre-reader, Jude. You are my BCFF.**

**Sunflower3759, my beta, thank you for everything. You are a truly a miracle.**

**Shout-out to my peeps at JUF. I love every one of you.**

**Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed this story. I ****flove every one of you for continuing this adventure with Bella.**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I only use them for my therapy.**

~ANL~

Bella woke with a beautiful smile on her face. Edward's arm was draped over her waist, his fingers entwined in hers. The blankets were tangled around them, separating her body from his. She sighed peacefully as she listened to his even breathing. She could feel his heartbeat against her back and was well aware he was still asleep.

She turned her head to watch him. His face was peaceful. The lines of worry were non-existent. They had been getting fewer and fewer over the past four years, but they didn't fully disappear unless he was sleeping.

She was still amazed on a daily basis, how incredibly lucky she was to have found someone like Edward. She was happy, and he was so good to her. She could handle forever with him. It was all she wanted, all she was hoping for.

Bella pushed her head closer to him, breathing in his intoxicating smell. Edward had a very masculine scent that reminded her of the woods on a sunny, summer day; fresh and clean. If the sun had a smell, he would be the sun.

She felt his scruffy chin nestled into her neck. She giggled from the scratchy feel against her skin. She turned to face him, his emerald eyes sparkled as he leaned in, brushing his soft lips across hers.

Edward softly whispered, "I will never get tired of waking up to this, Pet. Wrapped around the woman of my dreams. God, you look so beautiful in the morning."

Bella blushed and tried to hide her face in his neck. Edward kissed her softly on her forehead. She looked back up and reached her face to his. As their lips met, Bella felt the tingling travel through her veins, lighting her body on fire. As they broke apart, her heart sank a little. She wanted that perfect kiss to last forever.

"We need to get up, Pet. It's gonna be a long and exciting day." Edward breathed.

All Bella could do was nod. She had been a ball of nerves since the decision was made. She knew it would be a good day, but the reactions to their decision were going to be overwhelming.

~ANL~

Bella and Edward were sitting on the loveseat in the living room. Everyone had been asked to join them, slowly entered room.

Rosalie sat quiet eyeing the couple. She had her suspicions like everyone else, but Bella and Edward had been very close-lipped about the announcement.

Emmett was sitting in the chair with Rosalie on his lap, holding her extremely close. She had been unusually quiet lately and he seemed to be possessive with her lately. The overprotectiveness he had been witnessing over the past week had concerned Edward. Emmett had reassured him that there was nothing to be concerned about.

Alice and Jasper were sitting on one end of the couch. Alice was bouncing Cynthia on her knees. Jasper was calmly watching the gathering, taking in every detail. He was a proud father; you could see the joy on his face.

Bella could see he was preparing himself to snatch Cynthia. She chuckled with the knowledge that Jasper had sensed something was coming. He and Alice had always had a way of expecting something, whether it be good or bad. Alice was looking around the room, she knew from the expressions that something was happening.

Carlisle and Esme sat on the other end of the couch, smiling happily with their hands linked. Bella and Edward had already told them what the announcement was. They knew how this was going to end.

Esme took the attention of the room. She had insisted on it. "I'm warning all you kids right now, if anything, and I mean anything, in this room gets broken I won't speak to any of you for a whole month."

Everyone looked around, eyeing Bella and Edward. They knew Esme was serious. She had done that to Edward and Emmett when they had broken her kitchen table years earlier. Wrestling for the last piece of sugar pie in the kitchen had been a bad idea. Esme had refused to speak or acknowledge either of them for almost two months. No one in the room wanted a repeat of that performance.

Bella took Edward's hand, holding it tight, seeking his protection. She knew this was going to be an emotional moment. Edward looked down at Bella, squeezing her hand and smiled at her.

He took a step forward, pulling Bella tight against his body and took a deep breath. "Bella and I have talked in great length about our options for the future. Knowing we have limitations, we found a way to make things as permanent as we feel comfortable. We've finally decided it's time to have a 'promise' ceremony. It'll be a wedding in every way, except we'll be 'promised' to each other rather than 'wedded'."

It took Jasper one second to yank a screaming Cynthia from Alice as she bounced off the couch. Bella felt her body hit the floor as the pixie tackled her. "I have some awesome ideas. Do you know where? How long do I have to contact the caterers, florists? We need to send out invitations. Oh, we need a dress. You'll love this one I saw recently. It would be perfect on you..."

"Alice...wait..." Bella wheezed through labored breathing. "You can help, but I have some ideas...please." Bella attempted to pull herself free of Alice's limbs.

"Auntie Bell, can I carry flowers? I like daisies best." Cynthia asked tugging on Bella's dress.

Bella looked at the little girl. She silently hoped that someday her children would be so innocent and loving. Bella had watched the four year old grow and thrive. She was spoiled, but this child had a way about her that had everyone bend to her will and wishes. Her smile and with the batting of her eyes, it was impossible to refuse this wonderful girl anything she wanted.

"Of course, I wouldn't have anyone but you carrying flowers for me. And if you like daisies then daisies you'll have." Bella smiled and pulled the mini-pixie onto her lap. There was no denying that the child was Alice's. They both had the bubbly personalities and the _'I want it my way'_ attitudes. It was fun watching the two of them play together.

"Okay, now if Alice has finished hogging all your attention."

Alice turned and stuck her tongue out at Emmett. "Fuck, no. I'm just getting started."

"Alice Mary Cullen-Whitlock! No swearing in my house _or_ in front of your child." Esme hissed.

Alice's face turned white as she turned to face Cynthia. The child's eyes were popping out of her head. "Mommy? Does this mean Nanny's gonna wash your mouth with soap?" Everyone in the room laughed at Alice's expense.

Alice scooped her child up and moved back to the couch. She spoke in hushed whispers, trying to dig her way out of the hole she suddenly found herself in.

Emmett continued to shake from his controlled laughter. "Okay, so, anyways. As I was trying to say, I have a question." Emmett tried once again. "Who's the best man for this ceremony?"

_Leave it to Emmett._ Bella giggled to herself. She knew what was going to happen if Edward didn't chose right between Emmett and Jasper. Edward had gone over and over this decision with Bella. He had been torn between his choices. That was up until Bella had given him an idea on how to settle the debate.

"Hold on, I have a more important question." Alice butted in, trying to circle the attention back to her. "Who's the maid of honor?" Alice was glaring at Bella, almost challenging her to say any name but hers.

_Oh, no. Here it comes!_ Bella thought. She looked at Edward with her best puppy dog eyes begging for his help. She was confident with her choice but Alice was the unknown element to her equation.

The look in Edward's eyes left her without a doubt. They had come to these decisions and right or wrong, it was time to answer the questions.

"Listen, we've both thought long and hard about this. Jasper's the best man and Rosalie's the maid of honor." Bella said very quietly, praying that no one heard her. _Wrong_.

Alice started to pout. Jasper pulled Cynthia off of Alice's lap as she rose from the couch and stomped around the room, the disappointment was evident on her face. She was eyeing up some of the ornaments on one of the tables. She looked from the ornaments to Esme, and then back again. If was obvious she was trying to decide if she could handle Esme not speaking to her for a month.

The look Esme gave Alice was unbelievably open and honest. It was as if she was answering the unasked question. _Try me, Alice, and see what happens._

Edward spoke up before any damage could be done. "Emmett, we would like you to perform the ceremony."

The smile on Emmett's face was complete joy. He would be allowed to join them together forever. He had made it plain that Bella was a sister to him. To be able to give her away to someone who would be good to her, was an honor.

Now it was Bella's turn for an explanation. She took a deep breath and turn her gaze on Alice, smiling. "Alice, I would like you to give me away. You are my best friend, my sister, and my confidant. Who better to do it than the woman who gave me my life back?"

Alice squealed and once again tackled Bella. This time Bella had been ready and braced herself for another onslaught. "This is perfect, Bella. It gives me more time to put all of my attention into the details."

Bella giggled, knowing that Alice's calling in life had never been a coffee-shop owner. The woman had flair for fashion and design, but was far more family oriented.

Edward stepped up once again, grabbing the attention in the room. He was extremely excited to tell them some of the details that Bella and he had agreed on. "Alright, everyone, Bella and I have decided the perfect time of the year for the ceremony will be in the summer. That means, Alice, you have just under a year to organize everything."

Bella found herself being pulled out of the room. She looked back glaring at Jasper as he laughed. He released his squirming daughter, allowing her to race after them. Alice was bouncing ahead of her. "I have so many ideas. You need to see this dress I mentioned. You're gonna die when you see it." Alice was so excited, she was unstoppable.

Bella quickly wished she could hide for the next year. Alice _was_ going to be the death of her.

**Rec'd:**

**Under My Skin by MissJude. This is her first fanfiction story. Anyone who love****s a** **tattooed Edward will fall deeper in love with him now.**


	17. Insecurities

**INSECURITIES**

**Much love and respect for my pre-reader, MissJude. ILY, twin sister.**

**I consider myself honored to have Sunflower3759 as a beta. A wonderful woman with a beautiful heart of gold.**

**Please join my FB group at groups/AliceVampire.**

**I want to thank my readers and supporters. This story was made to help me have closure of my past life, but, also, to give hope to those who still suffer.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I only use them for my therapy.**

~ANL~

Bella made her way down the hallway. She has woken this morning to an empty bed and a text message from Edward.

_Morning, Pet...ha__d__ to pull a double shift...be back this afternoon...love you_

Bella knew she was going to have a busy day. Since making the announcement a few days ago, Alice hadn't given her a moment of peace and quiet. Alice had been put in charge of most of the wedding details. But, as expected, she was going overboard. It was just something that, as a part of this family, Bella would have to live with. It was Bella's way to take things as they came since Alice wanted everything perfect as soon as possible.

Rosalie had been quiet since the announcement. Was Rosalie okay with everything? Did she approve of Bella and Edward's choice? The whole situation made Bella anxious.

Bella stepped into the living room, making her presence known. "Rose?"

Rosalie looked over, her eyes coming into focus. "Hi, Bella."

"We haven't talked much lately." Bella said as she came over and sat on the windowsill near the chair.

"Rose, are you okay with all of this?"

Rosalie looked at Bella and she felt her heart begin to break. She didn't look happy, and Bella wondered why, after all these years, she and Rosalie were still just friends. Bella was sad over the idea that they would were not as close as she thought sisters should be.

Rosalie leaned out of the chair and laid her hands over Bella's. She looked at her and held her gaze. She whispered, almost as if she was afraid to have anyone overhear their conversation. "Bella, I'm thrilled that you and Edward found each other."

Bella felt better that Rosalie seemed okay with the fact that they were together as a couple, but she knew there was something holding her back. "Thank you, Rose, but you have to tell me, what is wrong?"

"Is it that obvious?" Rosalie asked, as she leaned back into the chair.

"It's normal for you to be forward and bold, never have you been quiet and withdrawn. But you've been just that, over the last few days." Bella answered, looking down at her hands.

Rose reached out and ran her hand under Bella's chin, pulling it up so their eyes could meet. "Bella, I just don't know how I feel right now. It has nothing to do with you and Edward. I'm scared, and I don't want to go through this again."

Bella was so confused. "I don't understand, Rose. Go through what?"

Rosalie took a deep breath. She seemed to be focusing on her thoughts, arranging them before she began to explain. "A few years before you arrived, Emmett and I experienced a loss that devastated both of us. We went through it again last year. We never told anyone. We thought it would be easier if nobody knew."

Bella ran through her memories of the last year, trying to find any idea of what Rose was talking about. "The month you and Emmett went on vacation?"

"Yeah." Rose closed her eyes. The pain on her face was so open and terrifying. "We went to Paris, like we said. What we didn't tell anyone was..."

Bella took Rose's hands, squeezing them. Rose was trembling in fear. The emotions in that moment were closing in on her. She knew something big had happened. Bella realized Rose couldn't hold her gaze; her pain was so deep.

"...we miscarried. I was four months pregnant." The tears rolled down Rose's cheeks as she shuddered from the memory.

"Oh God, Rose, why didn't you tell us?" Bella's voice cracked as she felt Rose's pain.

"Edward and I have been through so much in our lives and I've always felt people have pitied me because of my childhood. I didn't want that from anyone over the loss of a child." Rose stuttered.

"Never, Rose. There would never be pity from anyone in this house. Support, yes, pity, no." Bella retorted. She suddenly had a thought pop into her head. "Rose, are you pregnant now?"

Rose nodded, unable to trust her voice, and Bella felt the atmosphere in the room change. As if nature had done it on purpose, the sun broke through the clouds, shining on Rose, making her look like an angel. Bella felt it was a sign, a good sign. She suddenly felt lighter, more confident that this would be Rose's moment in time.

"You should let everyone know."

"I haven't told Emmett yet. I can't watch him face that disappointment again." Rose responded.

"He should know. I'm honored you told me first, but everyone should know. We will all be here to support and help the both of you. You are gonna be spoiled, Rose!" Bella smiled as she tried to convince Rose.

"You're right, I know you are, I should tell everyone, but I'm just scared. I don't think I can face another loss."

"You have a family to lean on. Do it, let them all be your pillar."

Rose kept her eyes locked on Bella's. She was trying to decide if she could handle everyone knowing her news. She nodded again; decision made.

Rosalie sniffled and hugged Bella. "Thank you. I love you, sis."

~ANL~

Bella wasn't sure how Emmett would take the news. Rose had told her that Emmett had been like a kid in a candy store the last two times. He was a strong and protective man, but could he face the possibility of another disappointment.

Rose had been nervous since talking to Bella. She sat on the loveseat, holding Bella's hand for support, and everyone in the room knew something was going on. Bella and Rose hadn't been the closest of friends since day one, but now, there was a change in their relationship. Maybe it would bring them closer, both of them about to go through major changes. A new start, maybe.

Rose squeezed Bella's hand before standing and walking towards Emmett. She knelt down in front of him and paused. "Emmett, hun, I have some news I want to share with you. I'm pregnant."

Emmett stared at Rosalie. He looked like he was going to pass out. Slowly, the words sunk in, and he wrapped his arms around Rosalie and pulled her onto his lap. He held her tight, his face tucked into her chest. "I am going to spoil this kid rotten."

~ANL~

Rosalie sat comfortably in the over-sized chair in the baby's room. The little bundle she held in her arms gave out a very loud cry, and Bella smiled as she watched Rose wrap herself up in his world. Emmett handed the bottle over to Rose. As soon as the bottle was placed in his mouth he quieted down. He definitely took after his father.

Bella looked over Rosalie's shoulder at the baby, wondering what Edward and her children would look like. Emmett Jr., EJ for short, looked like a small version of his father. He was huge for a newborn and he had thick, dark curls crowning his head. EJ's eyes screamed Rose. He was very focused for a newborn and held everyone's attention. Bella silently hoped the baby had Emmett's sense of humor and Rosalie's stubbornness. What more could she wish from her godchild.

Rose looked up smiling, as Bella lightly kissed her on the cheek before leaving the room**. **Mommy and Daddy deserved some quiet time with their beautiful child. Closing the door, the last thing she saw was Emmett kneeling beside his wife and child, smiling at the little miracle he had helped create.

Bella walked down the stairs, heading towards the study. The 'wedding' was only a few months away and there were many things that needed to be finalized. She sighed as she opened the door, preparing herself for the 'Alice onslaught'.

Alice turned away from the computer, took one look at Bella and freaked. "Bella, get out, you are not allowed in here. Not right now."

Bella was taken aback by the statement. The last thing she expected was for Alice to throw her, metaphorically, out of the room. "I'm working on Cynthia's dress," Alice snapped, waving a half goodbye, and half get-out, hand gesture. It was the smirk on Alice's face that made it somewhat funny.

She wasn't being rude and Bella understood. Bella had tried to fight for everything she wanted or didn't want. Edward had tried to warn her that fighting Alice was a waste of energy, but Bella had refused to listen.

Finally, after three months of fighting, Bella and Alice had a major meltdown and a family intervention was staged. Alice agreed to Bella's choice of colors and the invites, but Bella agreed to allow Alice to design and make the dresses. Bella made it clear she wanted to see the design and creation of them from beginning to end. Alice shot back that she wanted full and total control of Cynthia and EJ's outfits. Bella would have no say at all. That also meant that Bella wouldn't see them until the day of the 'wedding'. Bella hated surprises, but Alice would always be Alice, and what she wanted she got.

"Okay, I'm out." Bella snipped, as she closed the door behind her. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do. For the first time in years, Bella was on her own, and she didn't like the feeling.

It wasn't natural for her anymore.

**Rec'd:**

**Under My Skin by MissJude. Tattoo'd Edward, enough said.**

**Saving Another by twilightgirl2. Sequel to the story Saved.**


	18. Fear

******WARNING: THERE ARE SCENES OF VIOLENCE AND ABUSE.**

**FEAR**

**Much love to my pre-reader, MissJude and my beta, Sunflower3759. I'm honored to have you both travel this journey with me.**

**Please join my FB group at groups/AliceVampire.**

**I want to thank my readers and supporters. This story was made to help me have closure of my past life, but, also, to give hope to those who still suffer.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I only use them for my therapy.**

~ANL~

Bella lost her place in the book for the third time. She lifted her head and inhaled the heavenly aromas. She knew the smells were coming from the kitchen. Since there were only two people in the house who could make food smell that mouth-watering, and since she wasn't cooking, it only made sense that it was Esme.

She put the bookmark in its place and set the book on the windowsill. She pushed herself off the chair and headed out of the study. As she made her way down the hall, she inhaled the scent again. Cupcakes. Her mouth was already watering.

She stepped into the kitchen and found Esme pulling out a tin full of cupcakes from the oven. "Anything I can do to help?"

"Of course, Bella, I would love some help." Esme replied putting the tray on top of the wooden block on the counter. "This will give us some time to talk."

Bella walked over to the island and pulled a bowl towards her. She looked down and found it full of dry ingredients. "Is this ready?"

"Yes, my dear." Esme responded. "I have overheard some things, and I would like to hear them for you."

Bella added the wet ingredients and began mixing the batter before speaking. She took the time to put her thoughts in order. "Edward and I are talking about moving out after the ceremony."

"I see," Esme's voice wavered. She finished scooping more batter into the trays and moved towards the oven. "Is this permanent?"

"Oh God, no, Esme." Bella was horrified that Esme would think that. "We just thought some time alone would be good for us." Bella felt horrible that anyone, especially Esme, would think that she and Edward would want to live anywhere but in this house.

She was at home here, and she had a family. She had a man she had come to trust, love, and believe in, over the years. Why hadn't either of them approached Esme or Carlisle in the beginning to let them know what their plans were?

"So like an extended honeymoon?" Esme sounded worried, she needed reassurance that her children would still be here.

Bella greased a pan and poured a spoonful of batter into each cup. "Yes, definitely, we both want to see the world; explore the wonders of Egypt, Greece and maybe Italy."

"Sounds wonderful, Bella. Carlisle and I did some traveling after we got married. It wasn't an easy decision for us since Carlisle was still in residency. We both realized afterwards that it was something that had been necessary for us. We learned more about each other than we could have, if we had stayed here."

"We have so many things we need to talk about. Well, one thing has been a recurring subject. Unfortunately, it hasn't been a topic we can agree on." Bella continued, eyeing the batter in the bowl. She could feel the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.

"Bella, sit. I think it's time we really talked." Esme said, holding out her hand.

Bella reached out and allowed herself to be pulled to the kitchen table. She sat on a chair and accepted the Kleenex box set in front of her. Bella looked down at the box as she pulled a tissue out. She put it to her face and allowed the tears out.

Esme put her arm around Bella, pulling her in tight. "Bella? What has you so upset?"

Bella muffled through the Kleenex. "Kids."

"I'm guessing you want them and Edward doesn't?" Esme asked quietly.

"EJ and Cynthia are such beautiful children. Why wouldn't I want them?" Bella stated, pulling her face out of the Kleenex. She kept her head down. She felt so lost inside her head.

"Bella, sweetheart, I'm sure Edward wants children. He's scared in the same way you were scared when you arrived here. You didn't believe you were good enough for him, and I'm sure he feels the same way about having children.

Edward wanted to protect Rosalie from the evil in the world, but felt that in the end, he failed. He has always had reservations about his place in this world." Esme stops for a moment to let the statement sink in before she continued. "You will have to work with him, reassure him, tell him how you feel."

Bella knew Edward had his thoughts and feelings about himself. "He's a good person, Esme. He says that he's a monster for not doing more to protect Rose. God, why could he ever think that of himself? Why would he ever need reassurance of that? He's the most wonderful, caring, loving man I have ever met. He's my savior and protector."

"Bella, never doubt that he knows what you mean to him, and the other way around." Esme countered, as she went to the oven and removed the newest batch of cupcakes.

"He's proven time and time again how wonderful he is with children. Look at Cynthia; she's totally devoted to him. Who does she run to when she scrapes her knee or she has nightmares?"

"But, Bella, Cynthia is Jasper and Alice's child not his. He'll protect Cynthia but she is still theirs. He's not sure he can protect his own child from the hate in the world. There is a big difference between having a child and taking care of someone else's. He doesn't have the 24/7 responsibility with Cynthia or EJ."

Bella moved towards the counter and placed another pan in the now empty oven. She walked back and began icing the cupcakes that have already cooled. "All parents can do, is love and protect their children. Having loving and caring parents will give children the knowledge that they have support when they make mistakes. That's what being a parent is all about, doing what's best your child. You need to watch over them as they grow and learn to decide for themselves, even if you don't agree with their choices."

Esme continued to scoop more batter into the tray. "You'll make a great mother one day, Bella. It just may take a little longer for Edward to realize he'll make a great father. Be patient with him and continue to love and support him while he does."

"I will." Bella said, as she snuck one of the cooled cupcakes off the wooden board. "Thank you, Esme."

"I'm always here when you need me, Bella." Esme said with a wink. "That's what a parent does."

Bella giggled. "I'm heading to the coffee shop, there's a new girl that I want to check on. I sent Edward a text, but, in case he misses it, could you let him know when he gets home?"

"Of course, dear."

Bella headed out of the house and started up the street. Forks was a beautiful little town. There were definitely no secrets here, and everyone knew everything within a few hours of something happening.

Bella found herself on edge. She wasn't sure, but something was off. She came around the corner and paused, taking note of everyone on the street. She didn't see anything that should have her feeling this way. She recognized everyone and every car.

She continued to feel a shiver climb her spine as she walked into the shop. She felt her old self coming to the surface. She stood in the doorway and scanned the shop, and once again she knew everyone in the room. No one seemed concerned, but Bella decided to listen to the conversations to see if there would be any reason for her feelings.

~ANL~

"Bella, I'm heading out. Do you want me to lock up before I leave?" the newest employee, Angela, asked.

Bella looked at the clock and realized that she had been here for hours. She had only taken a small chunk out of the paperwork that littered her desk. Looking at Angela she replied, "That would be wonderful. You did a wonderful job today, Angela."

"Thank you, Bella. I love this place. Have a good evening." Angela said, walking out of the office.

"You, too."

~ANL~

Bella straighten up the office and looked at the clock. She knew she should get back to the house before the troops came looking for her. She heard the distinct bell from the front door. _Strange, I thought Angela said she was going to lock up._

Bella rose and stepped around the desk, making her way into the kitchen. She instantly saw movement coming from the window separating the kitchen from the front counter.

"Hello? Angela?" No answer. "Edward?"

Still nothing. Bella could feel alarms screaming and turned to head back to the office. She didn't stop when the swinging doors moved behind her. Her inner voice yelled loud and strong for her to run.

She made the mistake to stop and turn. Standing in the doorway was a man, a horror from her past. She could feel the hatred run thick in the air, as the look in his eyes burned with evil and death. She knew it was real, it was worse than any nightmare she had ever had. Her nightmare had come back for her in person, smashing their way into her reality.

Bella screamed and turned to run, hoping she could make it to the office. She could feel her legs turning to rubber, as the fear overwhelmed her, coursing through every nerve in her body. Her mind slammed between two thoughts, run or die.

Unfortunately, the man was much faster and stronger. "Oh, no you don't, bitch."

Bella felt her body jerk backwards. He grabbed her by the hair and threw her onto the floor. Kneeling down on her chest, he wrapped his hand tight against her throat. She couldn't breathe, the weight on her chest held her firm. She couldn't move, and the combination of both caused the fear to come to the surface like a volcano. She looked up into his eyes, seeing the black look of pure hate. Panic was killing her from the inside. Bella didn't have the power to scream for help. Fear was taking control of her senses, leaving her completely helpless.

"I have you, now. You're gonna pay for running away from me." He growled as he ran a finger down her cheek.

Bella's world had just shattered. She knew she would never see Edward or her family ever again. She would never enjoy the simple things they did together. She would never know how her perfect future with Edward or their children would turn out. She most likely wouldn't see another sunrise. Bella felt torn between fearing for her life, and fearing for a life she would never have with them, with Edward…the one that was quickly slipping away.

"James, please. I'm sorry." Bella wheezed. Her lungs felt like they were on fire from the lack of oxygen. His terrifying look was becoming blurry and she began to feel detached as the white light closed in around her.

"Shut up, you little whore. I can smell the stench of another man on you." James' voice was so controlled, but so loaded with anger. Bella could smell the stench of alcohol overload her senses. "You thought you'd be able to leave me." She felt like her face was being seared by every drop of spit spilling from his lips.

James took his knee off her chest. She felt a little relief which was quickly replaced with seething pain. James' fist punched deeply into her stomach, forcing what little air she had out of her body.

"I am your husband and you've disobeyed me. You'll pay for that mistake." James lost his control and screamed in her face as he pulled her up by her throat. She tried to put some weight on her legs to relieve the tension around her neck, but the lack of oxygen, and the heightened level of fear, caused her to fail. She found herself hanging within his grasp.

"You're gonna learn that leaving me was your first and last mistake. And it'll be the final thing you are ever gonna learn." James wrapped his hand in her hair, dragging her savagely down the hall. Bella could her heartbeat pounding in her eyes, matching the beat of James' feet as he stomped across the floor.

Bella tried to scream but the sound caught in her throat. She could feel her hair ripping out of her head as James threw her against the wall by the back door. Everything began going black as he kicked her repeatedly. She felt her body shutting down, her vision began going black, the sounds of the beating her body was taking, were drowned out by her own heartbeat thumping inside her head. Slowly, the pain became numbing as she drifted into unconsciousness.

**Rec'd:**

**Under My Skin by MissJude. Tattoo'd Edward, enough said.**

**Fix You by chocaholic123. Two lives. Different worlds. The ripples from this twelve year collision course will last forever.**


	19. Pain

**WARNING OF VIOLENCE, COURSE LANGUAGE AND ABUSE!**

**PAIN**

**Huge shout-out to my pre-reader, Miss Jude, and beta, Sunflower3759. I want to thank them both for their support and love. I am blessed to have both in my life.**

**I want to show my undying devotion to all my friends, readers, followers and reviewers. Without your encouragement and strength, I wouldn't have continued this story. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.**

**Join me at /groups/AliceVampire.**

**The last two chapters will be posted on Wednesday.**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I only for my own source of therapy.**

~ANL~

Bella's body felt like it was lying on the bottom of a turbulent ocean. The rocks were digging into her body, tearing into her skin. Her insides felt like they would explode from the pressure. She struggled to pull air into her lungs. Bella thrashed around as she started to push herself to the surface, her brain tumbling around inside her head.

She shook her head, gathering her thoughts as she surfaced. The fog slowly lifted as she opened her eyes slowly. The pain was intense; hitting her head against a brick wall would be more enjoyable. She moved her eyes, regretting the movement immediately. The room she was in reminded her of a dark secluded cabin in the woods; the kind you only see only in horror movies. She felt goose bumps appearing on her whole body. This couldn't be good.

As she came into focus, Bella had a suddenly moment of clarity. _James! _She felt the fear bubble from within her, bouncing off her insides and settling in her heart. She forced herself through the pain and scanned the room, looking for any indications as to where she was. Her beating heart was pounding so hard, crushing on her ribcage. She couldn't see him anywhere.

The room was small and dark, and it smelled like rust and mildew. It felt cold and damp, reminding her of the shoreline during a storm in the winter. Standing in the corner was a worn table and a three-legged chair placed in front. Other than that there was nothing. The room was even void of windows to help her figure out where this place was or even what time of the day it was.

She needed to get out. She needed to find some way of figuring out where she was and how she could get away. She placed her hand down on the dirt floor and felt her heart sink down into the depths of despair. She looked down and found her hand wrapped up by the wrist. She felt a sense of defeat as she followed the metal chain and saw it anchored to a brick wall. She was not going to be able to escape so easily from him.

She realized in that moment that running wasn't going to be an option for her this time. In order to save herself, she was going to have to fight. She took an unsteady breath and began transport herself back in time. She went over her long discarded, mental checklis,t to find out the current state she was in.

She slowly moved her arms and legs carefully determining there were no broken bones. She ran her free hand over her back and found a couple of cuts but nothing too deep. She felt the deep aching pain, as her hand shakily ran down her sides. Bruised ribs were definitely going to cause problems when she decided to fight him. She continued her list, feeling her face next. She flinched as she felt the swelling around her mouth and her eye. She knew there were not cuts; he had always been carefully of that. She could feel the throbbing agony inside her head and examined her skull next. There were no cuts or swelling, only the beginnings of a massive headache.

She leaned her back carefully against the brick wall, feeling the cold seeping into her body as she began to formulate a plan. She had gained strength over the past few years and knew this would be an advantage. James didn't know about the new Bella. The spirit and resourcefulness she had learned to embrace and use to her advantage. She had decided long ago she would no longer be the victim to this monster or any other.

She suddenly had another moment of clarity; she needed to contact Edward. She worried for him and was anxious to see him again and feel him. The love he had for her, coupled with his protectiveness would have him in panic mode, wondering where she was. She needed a phone. She had to let him know she was alive, that she was trapped and needed him.

If she found a way to escape, she would have to run fast and hard. Yes, she was clumsy but she knew how to escape. She had done the impossible against this man before. She knew his weaknesses. The only thing she truly had on her side was that he thought he knew hers. Maybe he would be able to pull them back to the surface, but he couldn't control her with them now. She wouldn't let him.

She mentally kicked herself for not thinking of the obvious earlier. She reached for her back pocket. _How can I be that dense?_ After the talk in the meadow all those years ago, Edward had insisted on her having a cell phone on her any time she left the house.

"You won't find it, bitch."

Bella spun her head, immediately regretting the action. Her brain slooshed inside her skull, causing the thumping to ring in her ears. She saw a doorway that hadn't been there a moment ago, and a living nightmare blocking it. She could feel the fear escape her and crawl across her skin. He looked older in some ways and still the same in others. Time had been cruel to him.

"You must've known I would check your pockets. Looking for this?" James sneered at her, shaking the cell phone in his hand. He was holding her only link to Edward, to any help she may possibly have. She was praying he wouldn't break it. As long as it was still working, she still had a chance for "I took the time to check your speed dial. I think I may have some fun with your friends when I am through with you."

Bella's heart dropped. For her to be in danger was one thing, but not the family. Fear for herself was quickly replaced by fear for them. Bella could feel the hate for this man smother the room as thick as his hate for her. "You don't scare me anymore, James." Bella knew she was lying through her teeth, but she couldn't allow him to know that he had found a weakness. She wouldn't tolerate him threatening her family.

"Oh, Bella, do you really think I believe that. I see the fear in your eyes. I will watch you suffer just as I suffered with embarrassment all those years ago. Everyone looked at me, made me into the devil. They made claims I was the bad guy. How the hell could I ever be a bad guy for teaching you how to be an obedient wife?" James' voice was hard but controlled. He truly believed every word spilling from his lips. "Now, I have you back and I will make you pay for abandoning your duties as my wife."

Bella knew what those duties were, and the idea made her nauseous. She would never allow him to touch her in that way. She would rather die than allow it. She pulled hard on the chain trying to see if it would give way a little. It dug into her wrist, slicing her pale skin open. As much as she wanted to free her hands, it was not possible.

James, of course, saw that futile attempt as fear. She did, however, cower back as he walked over towards her. The look in his eyes sent another wave of shivers across her skin. It wasn't the version of him she used to know; that version was evil. He brought his foot down on the chain and knelt on one knee in front of her.

He dug his nails into her wrist as he brought her hand up to sniff her blood. "I've missed that." He whispered with satisfaction as he darted his tongue out and tasting her blood.

Before Bella had a chance to react, James reached for her head, gripping her hair into his hand and slammed her into the brick wall. Bella fell to the floor, covering her face in dirt. Dazed, she looked up through the colorful light dancing in her sight to find James leaning in. He ran his fingers across her face, snatching it in a tight hold.

"I will teach you obedience. You never were a good wife, but I always wanted a dog." he said with a smug smile, saliva spilling onto her smudged face. He smashed his foot down on her chained hand, squishing it like a small bug.

Bella screamed as the fragile bones in her hand twisted and snapped. She had given James the reaction and pleasure he had been looking for. "I will show you how to be a good wife."

Bella forced herself through the pain, she used it as her strength. "Never, you pile of shit. I never loved you. You were just a means of escape from my father."

She felt her untethered hand coil up. She swung as hard as she could, smashing him in the face. Bella knew her words and her reaction would result in a beating. She was going to die, but she wouldn't go without a fight. He had weaknesses, and she was going to exploit them if she had even a slim chance of getting what she needed.

"I found your father repulsive, I saved you from him and you were grateful." James was quickly losing control. His thoughts were becoming erratic. "I gave you a better life and you threw that away. I had to teach you all those lessons. You were always a clumsy, stupid girl who couldn't satisfy her man properly. "

James stood up, releasing his grip on Bella. He licked his lip, removing the blood Bella had caused. He moved back towards the door, looking back, his face twisted in an evil grin. "You needed all the lessons I gave you and now I'll teach you more. I've had a long time to think about it. Don't go anywhere," he laughed menacingly, as he slammed the door, sealing her back in her tomb.

Bella knew she only had a minute before he returned. She had years to learn new lessons, things he didn't know. She opened her broken hand carefully, rejoicing in the miracle she held. The cell phone had fallen out of his pocket during the small struggle. She looked around quickly and found a small space in the bricks. She stuffed the phone in it, turning back and blocking the spot with her body as James opened the door.

He had a water jug, a scrub brush and a brown paper bag in his hands. He set the water jug and brush down in front of Bella. He took a long, deep breath as he leaned over her. "Wash that disgusting body of yours, you little whore. I can smell that man on my wife's body and it's repulsive." He threw the bag at her and furiously continued. "You're unworthy of the attention or presents I give you. I want you dressed in this when I get back. You're going to fulfill your commitments to me as my wife. I've gone far too long without it."

After closing the door Bella scrambled for the cell phone. She quickly hit the speed dial and silently prayed. As the voice on the other end came on the line she rejoiced and felt her heart sink at the terror in his voice.

"_Bella, baby, where are you? What's going on?"_

"Edward...it's him...he found me." Bella whispered panicking. She needed him to get all the information before it was too late. "I don't have much time. Please...listen to me. I'm in a room. I don't know where but it's empty. There's only a table and chair...there are no windows and a brick wall on one side. I don't think this place has been used in a long time. It's cold...damp...please, Edward, figure out where I am. Come get me. I love you." Bella looked at the door, hearing the footsteps just on the other side. She hung the phone up without another word, tears running down her face.

Edward's voice screaming at her had been cut off. She realized that might be the last time she might ever hear him. His voice sounded so good, beautiful, and she felt the safety that he brought to her, for an instant. She wanted her life back, her happy place with Edward. She reluctantly turned off the phone and hid it back in its hiding place. She couldn't take any chances of Edward trying to call back. If James found the cell phone in her possession, her life, and any hope of rescue was over. The footsteps faded away.

She pulled again against the chain wrapped around her wrist. When the pain in her wrist became unbearable she stopped and resigned herself to the knowledge that she would need to find another way. She grabbed the jug and brush. She had to prolong the inevitable as long as she could. She had to play his games till a moment presented itself for her to escape, or so Edward could find her.

**Rec'd:**

**Under My Skin by MissJude. Tattoo'd Edward, need I say more.**

**Fix You by chocaholic123. Two lives. Different worlds. The ripples from the twelve year collision course will last forever.**


	20. Rescue

**WARNING: VIOLENCE, ABUSE AND COURSE LANGUAGE**

**RESCUE**

**Huge shout-out to my pre-reader, Miss Jude, and beta, Sunflower3759. I've come so far thanks to these two women. They have become loving sisters and friends. ILYSM.**

**A huge shout out to everyone who reads and understands this story. It was hard to write, isn't easy to read, but it is my way of giving hope to those who feel hopeless.**

**Join me at /groups/AliceVampire.**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I only use them for my therapy**.

~ANL~

Bella snapped her head around, to look at the door as it opened. James stepped back inside, a set of handcuffs in one hand and a monstrous look in his eyes.

Bella felt herself cringe back against the wall. It wasn't out of fear but an old inherited trait that she had adopted as a child. She wasn't sure what his plan was, but she knew it was going to hurt her and make her suffer.

James had a look of blazing hunger in his eyes as he ran them over her body, making Bella shudder. The short, strapless, black dress left little to the imagination. James had chosen the dress carefully. Most of her scars, the proof of his abuse, were covered.

James walked back into the room, and Bella turned and faced him. She felt exposed in the strapless black evening dress, and he could see the hunger in his eyes. It was a blazing hating hunger. He wanted to punish her and this hunger was what drove him.

She watched as he slowly moved towards her. He was watching her closely, waiting, and hoping, that she would give him a reaction he wanted. Bella refused to make full eye contact with him. She fought hard to keep herself still; she wouldn't give him any satisfaction by playing his games.

James knelt down before her, reaching out and snatching her by the wrist. He snapped the cuff down across her arm, squeezing it tight against her skin. "Need to make sure you can't run away again, cunt."

Bella screamed as the pain tore through her body. She could feel the blood trickle down her broken hand. He was making sure she suffered mentally as much as she suffered physically. He put out his hand, demanding her unfettered one.

Bella fought the urge to obey his commands and shook her head, placing her hand behind her back. James snapped his hand, smashing it across her face. The blow felt like a sledgehammer coming down across her cheek. She fell down the wall, lying in a crumpled heap in the dirt.

Bella stared up through the dazzling lights that danced across her vision. She could see his hand come up once more, and she waited for the next blow….but it never came. Instead, James brought his hand behind her head, and pushed her further into the floor. Grabbing her now exposed hand, he cuffed it and released her.

Bella felt her body begin to shake. She was terrified as the reality of her situation sunk in. This wasn't James' normal method. Rarely did he attack her face; he never wanted evidence of the beatings to show. She always found herself wearing long sleeved shirts and turtlenecks to constantly hide the bruises and cuts. This was different, very different. There was no way for her to know what his plan was this time, he was unpredictable.

He knew what he was doing. She knew by his previous behavior that he was far more dangerous because he had no intentions of letting her live. He was going to kill her this time. Her life meant nothing to him and he would do everything to break her before she took her last breath.

James pulled a key from his pocket and used it to unlock her from the brick wall. He left the chain attached to her and used it as a leash to drag her across the room. She felt the dirt scratch her exposed legs, digging deep into her skin. Her mind wanted to fight, but her body was shutting down; the fear paralyzing her.

James turned and threw his boot into her side. Bella could feel her ribs cave inward, forcing the air out of her lungs. "Close your eyes, bitch, and don't open them till I say so."

Bella wanted to look back at the cellphone hidden in the wall, but knew that it wouldn't be a good idea. So she just silently hoped that he wouldn't see it and that it remained hidden.

She did as she was told and closed her eyes, what choice did she have. Her only thought in that moment was survival and obedience. If there was any chance, even a slim one, of surviving, she needed to be subservient. James dragged her out of the room and across a cement floor, the uneven areas slicing her skin as well as the dress. She winced as the pain traveled across her skin, reminding her that she was living her worst nightmare. She knew that her pain was his joy, as he chuckled and quickened his step.

Bella felt her body being picked up and forced onto her feet. She fought to stand under her own power. Before she even had the strength, he pushed her back down. She threw her hands out and felt them bend as she landed on something soft.

She listened as he walked away and took a chance. She barely opened eyes, just enough to see anything that might help her. She was in another room and lying on an old mattress. It was extremely dirty and decayed, like it had been here before time itself. Bella quickly closed her eyes again as James began to turn back to her.

"You can open your eyes now. I have another present for you." His voice was soft and too controlled. Her level of fear was thrown to a new plateau.

Bella slowly opened her eyes, tilting her head to try to get a better look around the room. There was nothing to help her; no windows, another dirt floor, all of it void of any help or indications of where she was. She focused her eyes back on James as he stood over her.

Bella felt her body move before her brain could even process what she was seeing. Her mind screamed at the same moment as her own voice produced the sound. In James' hand was a knife, a large hunting knife. He reached down and grabbed the chain still linked around her hand. He dragged Bella back and placed the knife against her throat.

Bella stopped and forced her body to go limp. She couldn't let herself get killed, she had to stall him. She had to keep up the idea of hope. Hope that she could rescue herself or that Edward would do what he had always wanted to promise her, find and save her.

She stared into his eyes, seeing the insanity in them. She fought to dominate her fear, owned it instead of it owning her. She needed him to see that he didn't have the control anymore, another weaknesses she wanted to exploit, to try to hold off the inevitable.

James smashed Bella once again across the face. She could feel the ringing in her ears drowning out his statement. "Stop looking at me."

Bringing the knife under the edge of the dress, he started to cut it. The smile on his face was menacing as the material ripped. He ran his eyes down her body as the material fell away, exposing her body to him.

His breath hitched as he looked her over. He turned his attention to the chain, hooking it on a peg on the wall above her. Bella's arms were forced up above her head while he shortened the chain enough that she wouldn't be able to struggle and get away.

He knelt over her so his legs pinned on either side of hers. He leaned in, wrapped his hand around her face and brought his lips to hers. He smelled like stale liquor and something that reminded Bella of rotting flesh. Bella's body quivered as he assaulted her lips. She felt the tear roll down her face as he licked his way to her ear. She felt disgusted and violated.

"Now, for my pleasure, do what good sluts are supposed to do." James smiled arrogantly.

James dug his nails into her scalp as he pulled at her hair. He pulled her up as he stood up in front of her. Her arms were forced bend awkwardly behind her head. He used his free hand to start unbuttoning his pants.

Bella couldn't stop herself. She lost all the self-control she had tried to keep in check. She couldn't, wouldn't allow this to happen. She would rather die than give him the satisfaction of controlling her body again. Bella's eyes went wide. James allowed chilling laugh to pour out of his body.

James body was suddenly pulled off her. She watched as he flew across the room, slamming against the brick wall on the other side. His body fell with a thud to the floor. The hatred that appeared in his eyes as he looked up was the most terrifying thing Bella had ever seen.

Bella fell back against the wall. She worked on the chain, trying to free herself from the wall, as she watched Edward turn and rush towards James. She knew she couldn't call his name. He couldn't be distracted. That was the one thing James would want.

Bella watched as Edward threw his body on top of James, fists flying as they fought for control of the situation. Edward was fighting as if his life depended on it. If James got control, he would kill Edward without thinking twice about it. James had nothing to lose now and everything to gain.

Bella looked towards the door as Emmett raced in. He stopped short, looking between Bella and the ongoing struggle. She wanted to scream, beg for Emmett to help but couldn't find her voice. Everything was happening too fast. Emmett jumped in, pulling James off of Edward, who was now pinned against the floor.

Bella felt her arms fall to the floor as the chain came loose from the wall. Bella could see and hear everything that was happening in the room. Dirt was swirling around the tangled bodies, and there was yelling and cursing. Everything was there, right in front of her, but it played out like a movie. She was numb; all her emotions dead inside, except one. The hatred was all she felt inside her bubble of nothingness.

Once she was free, she grabbed the chain and crawled forward. Her inner voice was screaming at her for the first time in years. She needed this to end, she needed to be free. She felt nothing as she positioned herself behind James, who was pushing and struggling his way out of Emmett's arms.

She swung the chain around the throat of the man she hated. Then she pulled the chain tight, her broken hand shooting daggers of pain up her arm. She threw her knee into his back. All she saw were black, haunting memories as she felt James struggle against her.

"You will never touch me again." Her voice was hard, and her thoughts were of nothing but blinding hatred.

Bella felt someone behind her, pulling with her. No, they were pulling her, not the chain. She vaguely heard the voice of an angel breaking through her rage. "Bella, baby, listen to me. You don't want to do this. If you do, he'll win. Don't let him ruin you."

Bella fought against Edward's grip. She wanted James dead. She didn't care. She had the need to end this once and for all. She thought she wouldn't feel at peace if she didn't see him dead. She couldn't start living her life again, if he was still alive.

"Pet, he'll haunt you forever. Please, baby, don't." The words floated around inside her head, Edward begging her to change her mind. This wasn't the future he wanted for her. Slowly, she lost the fight, and her strength faltered as the chain went slack. Bella felt her body being gently pulled away from James, and the chain being lifted.

James tumbled over unconscious. It was over, it was finally over. Bella felt Edward's arms wrap her up protectively. She watched through a cloudy vision as Emmett slammed James' limp body against the wall, pinning him while he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

Bella turned and clung to Edward. She cried uncontrollably as he held her tight. Edward held her protectively as she shook from exhaustion. After what seemed forever, Bella felt strong enough to try to speak. "Edward...you're here...how...?"

Edward looked down at her, caressing her face. "It was you, Pet. You told me where to find you. This is an old bomb shelter. Emmett and I found it once when we were out biking." He kissed Bella's lips softly. "When you describe the place, this was only this place I could think of."

Bella looked up into his eyes, tears and exhaustion taking over. The last thing she remembered was how safe she felt for the first time in her life, and hearing the words _I love you_ coming from her mouth.

**Rec'd:**

**Under My Skin by MissJude. Tattward...do I need to say anything else.**


	21. Everlasting

**EVERLASTING**

**Huge shout out to my pre-reader, Miss Jude, and beta, Sunflower3759. I've come so far thanks to these two women. They have become loving sisters and friends. ILYSM.**

**Thank you to everyone for their love and support during this story. I love every one of you for your reviews and comments. You all mean the world to me for favorit'ing and following this story.**

**Join me on FB /groups/AliceVampire.**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I only use them for my therapy.**

~ANL~

Bella sat quietly in the oversized chair in the study. She watched the sun dip into the earth, a book lying in her lap. It had been six months since the abduction. James had been sentenced, and he would never be able to harm her again. She had been granted her divorce. Bella was finally free of her past; no more running, no more hiding. She didn't have to look over her shoulder every time she walked out the door. For the first time in years, she could breath easily, she could sleep soundly, all her worries were gone. It was now her time to live.

"Pet? Are you okay?" Edward asked as he held her tightly.

Bella turned her head to face him. She knew all she had to say was 'yes', but words could not cover everything she wanted to say. She reached her hand up and cupped his cheek. She leaned in watching his eyes as she brushed her lips against his.

Edward pulled her into him and kissed her deeply. "Forever," was all he said, as he pulled back.

"Forever," Bella agreed, resting her head on his shoulder once again, enjoying the feeling of his arms around her, holding her safe.

'_Forever_' seemed like the word that summed up everything.

~ANL~

"To love, honor and cherish for as long as you both shall live?"

Bella looked deep into Edward's eyes, and as he answered _'I do'_ she knew exactly what he was saying.

Silently, he was telling her the he would walk in front of her to defend and protect. He would walk behind her to support and encourage. He would always walk beside her to love her and be her equal. He would never hold her back, never tell her 'she couldn't' and never tell her she was unable to do anything in the world. He was there to complete her, and love her, always.

~ANL~

Alice, Rose, Esme and Bella sat quietly watching the boys and children playing in the yard. The summer day brought with it a pocket of sunshine, rarely seen in Forks.

Alice had added another child to the family two years after the wedding. Brandon was a carbon copy of Jasper; calm, cool and relaxed. All the kids were running around playing tag, laughing as the boys chased them around.

Edward sprinted away from the group and collapsed on the steps, breathing hard. He looked up towards Bella, smiling. Bella looked back with a sparkle in her eyes. She wrapped a protective hand over her stomach.

In less than a month, she and Edward would be expanding the family by one more. The decision had been made to keep the sex of the baby as a surprise from the rest of the family. Bella knew that her little girl would be spoiled rotten.

Bella silently hoped the baby had Edward's eyes and loving personality. She knew Edward wanted a baby that looked just like her. They had agreed to disagree. Either way, the baby would be loved. That's all that mattered.

Edward mouthed the words _I love you_. Bella smiled and reciprocated the words back. Bella felt relaxed and comfortable. Everything in her life was perfect; her family, her marriage and her life.

And it was, for her, a new life.

**This story found me questioning myself and my decisions in life a few times. I strongly believe my decisions were right for me and my children. I hope all of those who are out there in a bad situation, find the strength to do what they need to do to have a safe and wonderful life.**

**AV**


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